Wednesday, February 25, 2015

One Eyed Willy and other tales

Good Afternoon Everyone,

I thought I'd better pop in.   I tried to promise to post, but as Murphy's Law dominates my life,
On  January 29th, I had emergency eye surgery in Hastings Nebraska, about two and a half hours from my home town,  There are few eye surgeons in our state, only about four, and that's if you do not want to drive 5 hours to the urban areas and spend hundreds of dollars on hotel rooms and food,
Hastings supports a wonderful eye specialist for retina tears, which I had, in fact, I had four tears, with one tearing around my optic nerve and a high risk of being blind.  Dr Welch, a well respected eye surgeon, fixed my eye and I was back January 30th, and recovered at home.  
I have limited vision in my left eye, it will be months before it heals, and about a year to see if I can get some of my vision back.  So, time is the denominator in this issue.
Because of limited vision, D went out yesterday and bought me a new laptop with text that I can read better.  I have been working on getting the laptop configured with working with one eye.  My right eye is now a very dominate eye and is taking up for the slacker left eye.
All of this came down at the same time I was finishing up packing up my parents home, moving things, then Dad going in the hospital with the flu.  Too much stress and being older and very, very severely near sighted, the retina let go.  I did, however while this was going on, sold my parents home and got that very big issue out of my way. I do not have to worry about mowing, and care of two homes. I have not told my parents I sold it.  They are doing very poorly, not eating and degrading slowly, I do not need to tell them anything to upset them even more.
So, I am healing at home.  No driving at all.  I go in March 16th, for my checkup, there Dr will determine if I can drive limited.  D needs surgery on his leg, but this was postponed when I had this little mishap. So we will just see and pray.
Well, my eye is getting tired, and I have a sniffle, what else is new.  Kitties are fine, doggies are fine, and I just take it one day at a time. I am trying to keep tabs on all of you through the blogs.

Hugs to All

Sunday, January 18, 2015

I am still here,

Dear Everyone,

I do not have words to say how very sorry I am for not posting for a (horridly) long time.  The past 7 months have been dreadful, horrible, stressful, and unkind.
But I have pushed through, barely.  D has been in bad shape and all I have done, and looking back, I do not know how I did it...Starting with new doctors in a community 100 miles away, physical therapy here, then to a rehab center in the Capital of our state, Lincoln.  It is one of the finest centers for recovery of many different accidents and injuries.  Mental, physical, and total body help.  D went there in December for an evaluation, I had to stay home, many things going on here from trying to clean out my parents home, to putting it on the real estate market to sell, to me having a mini stroke in July, to trying to get well to finish cleaning out parents home.  I have been eight months cleaning, sorting, and storing.  I am almost complete, by the end of this month, it will be done.
I am still dealing with the stoke issues.  I lost partial vision in my left eye,  but still, I had to finish doing everything I could do.  I could not find any help what so ever here.  I was shocked at how lazy people are here.  So, I completed the job myself. And as D was able to get around better in the wheelchair, he cleaned the garage out wheeling around the garage and sorting tools, and throwing out.  We threw out over three quarters of nothing but junk.  Now its almost done.
I just wanted to pop in, as I feel pretty good to get back on the computer and post.  I have guardianship court in a few weeks for both parents and that was very stressful, completing all transactions and coming up with a total complete balance of the estate.  It took me over two weeks to complete and finish.  Now the attorney has it and she will go over everything and get it in proper order.
I will try to pop in on Sundays.  They are a total rest day now for me.  I usually shut down the computer on the weekends, but I will try to catch up with all of you.
I sent loving thoughts to all of you, I will get better.  I have missed all of you.
Many hugs

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Keeps Gettin' Better

Good Evening Everyone,

I thought I'd maybe better post to let all know, (or not know) that I am still here, hanging on, and it seems it will never quit.  I have been running the last few weeks taking my mother to an orthopedic specialist at a clinic about 100 miles away.  About 6 years ago, her left leg bone broke at where the shaft of her artificial hip was and spiral broke around it.  The surgeon plated her leg bone with a plate and about 13 screws holding the plate in place.  Its a piece of work, on xray, but now the hip keeps falling out of place and I have been threatened a few times to get her to this specialist.  D and I have been very sick the last month with some virus that made you feel like you could crawl somewhere to die.  I had not been that sick for about 7 years. He and I still have the bark. We finally were well enough to take her to this specialist.
We took her to Kearney last Wednesday, and it was a hell of a trip.  We had to rent a car as we do not have a road worthy  vehicle.  And then she turned in a total animal, and she was even sedated.  Well, to change the outcome of her getting her surgery, D ended up being hurt pretty bad yesterday afternoon (Monday), by a steer.  He was loading at a feed lot about 50 miles from here and another trucking company owner and himself were trying to load these cattle.  The next thing D said, was a Brahma, about 1800 #, was staring at him, and then as quick as a New York minute, the steer had him down  in the feedlot, and pinned him.  It took a lot of men, and some cowboys on horseback to get the steer off of him, and one of the cowboys shot the steer to keep it from hurting or killing someone else.  It was a nightmare.  The owner of the feedlot said that the cattle were spooky, and unruly all day yesterday, and I am sure it is because we are having very bad weather today and tonight.  Very stormy and unsettled.  So the small village where everyone was at has an ambulance and EMT's and they had him in the unit and hauled butt back here to ER.  He was badly stomped on, and his right leg broken in 3 places.  I just got home here about 7:30 pm tonight, after sitting all day at the hospital and in surgery, where they pinned and rodded the leg.  I left as I was completely exhausted from sitting last night til about midnight and then up at 7 am and back at the hospital about 9 am. D was still heavily sedated and still groggy so the nurses told me to go home as he was in good hands and if they need me, they will call. 
I am sure that Glenda from Living and Gardening in the Ozarks will attest, cattle are extremely unpredictable. These were fats going to Fort Morgan to the plant. These were large and heavy cattle.
So now, I have a man down, as well and try to handle my parents.  I went today before I went to the hospital, and explained to my parents, that I cannot at this time be a their beckoned call.  They will just have to plan by  my schedule as I can plan.  It will be at least 8 weeks, if not more before D is healed, and he is 60, and it make take longer.  It depends on many things.  We will just see on a daily basis.
So, at this point in time, I feel that I have a curse on me.  I guess all I can do it ask for strength and take it each day as it comes.
So, other than that, I have been doing ok, I am upset at all of this, but I feel I can just take it by the horns, so to speak and as the British say, "Keep calm and Carry On", which is what I will do.
Other than this little bump, things have been somewhat calmer, I finally got my garden in, it will be totally late this year.  We had very chilly weather and cold and I had to re-start a lot of the garden.  Now, its just worry about hail and bad weather which is ramping up now.  We need rain so bad.  Sunday we got 2 inches, which we needed so very badly.  If it would just rain and no hail or nasty storms like we are getting now.
But, I am still here, and will try to post how everything is going.  I have been trying to keep up with all of you and reading about what everyone is doing.  I know it will get better.
Well, as FlowerLady says, I am ready to get horizontal, I am just exhausted so I will just keep all posted and wish hugs and love to all.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Trudging Through, Hip Deep.

Dear Everyone,

I shockingly looked at the last post date of mine, and horridly, its been since Feb 2nd.  Oh my word, a long, long time.  Things really ramped up after that date,   I completed Guardianship court for my mom, as dad was in the hospital during Valentine's Day.  Then April 8th, I completed his Guardianship court.  It has not been easy period.  Both parents are furious with me.  Told me that I have railroaded them into something that is illegal, yada, yada, yada.  I just close my ears.  If it gets too bad, I just tell them that I am leaving for now and when everyone is cooled down, I will come back.
March and April found my mom back in the hospital, the last stint, the hospital finally seen that I desperately needed help, and with the blessings of several staff doctors, the ER Physician's assistant and RN's, my mother was placed where my dad was residing at the same nursing home.  After a few weeks, the NH staff placed her with my dad, and now they are both fuming, fighting and doing general havoc.  They just cannot go home anymore, as mom is scheduled to go to a ortho specialist to get that hip joint fixed so the hip joint will not fall out. She is fighting me every step of the way, but I scheduled an appointment for this month on the 21st, and I rented a car to get us down there.  I have also ordered her doctor to sedate her so I can handle her better as she is now obnoxious and mean. 
I only can take one day at a time.  The paperwork has been totally inundating, and the laws, rules and everything in between are unreal.  I ended up moving checking accounts to a different bank, I had to separate both accounts to each one, am in the process of moving insurance payments, and other banking with in May and June.  It is just unreal.
Personally, I cannot remember much of the last few months.  Each day molds into the next.  D and I have separated for now.  He is driving over the road and I am currently staying at the house until fall.  We are just going day by day.  The court and judge where I had all of the guardianship matters done, was informed by my attorney of what has happened to our lives because of all of this chaos, and he ordered a court liaison for both of us.  She is part council part attorney and is a go between for us before a divorce court is set.  The judge was sad, and disturbed of the repercussions of this event in our lives and felt that an intervention was needed.  So it is in place and I have seen the attorney twice now and D has talked to her by phone, since he is out on the road.  I guess, in our state, judges are privileged to intervene in certain things, like drug abuse or other life moments where it needs help or intervention, well, we got a intervention of the heart, and the judge, mentioned that 37 years of marriage, should not be thrown away because of parents and their shortcomings. So for now, we are abiding by the court for us and it has helped some.  There is so much issues with my parents and their lives and not planning.  I am starting to break down my parents home, I have sold one vehicle and have two more to sell.  My parents are demanding to go home, but I just do not have the energy, or the money to provide for them. I am also not going to jail or prison if one or both fall in the home, they are not safe nor mentally stable to be home.    My mother's Alzheimer's is getting bad, she is mean and nasty and too hard to take care of.  My dad believes that he is well and can do everything that he did before, he is very belligerent and demanding as well as my mother. But he is in a wheel chair and needs assistance to the bathroom, and for dressing.   My mother constantly calls my home, demanding I be there 24/7, and I had better do it.  I just do not answer the phone.  I have told the NH and I refuse to answer the phone, and if it an emergency, leave a message, and I will call immediately back.  My doctor told me to get a handle on that situation as they were going to send me to an early grave way before them.  They (my parents) are now like teenagers who are rebellious and obnoxious.  I am now not giving an inch anymore.  I am taking back my life.

I have been trying to get into my garden.  I have started a few things, but the weather we have had has been nasty, horridly windy, very little rain or snow.   We are now in extreme drought and I am sure that water restrictions are going to be in place this summer.  I have got to get a rototiller rented so I can finish my soil tilling, and put compost and manure in and be ready to plant here in the next few weeks.  It has been nice that I do have some time to do this.  Last year, I was running totally like a chicken with my head cut off.  When I had my last session with the council/attorney, I told her that I do not remember last year at all.  At that time, we were moving and trying to maintain my parents home, and handle all of their business.  I am so frightened of that thought, can't remember 2013.

There is just too much to write about what has been going on.  I am glad that I am a little further down the path, but I am not finished yet.  A lot remains, more problems, but the nice thing is that my mother is placed now, and I do not have to worry about her doing dumb, stupid things at home and getting my butt in a boat load of trouble.  I do have some time now, however little that is mine now.  I have taking time in the morning to follow all of you.  That is my quiet time, with a cuppa tea or coffee, and read, and keep up with all of you.
It is so nice to start writing and blogging again.

Well,  I need to run a few errands and I will try very hard to post something more this weekend.  My hugs to all of you.  Yes, I am still here.
Hugs and Love to All.  

Sunday, February 2, 2014

changes in life

Good Morning Everyone,

I am deeply sorry for the delay in my blogging. Personally, I just have not had it in me to blog nor had the time.  January was a terrible, terrible month for a lot of things and it just got worse every day as something would come up, or a phone call.  It just went into the loo pretty quick.

The nursing home called APS, (Adult Protective Services) on me,  in my dad's behalf,  and I had nothing but issues with an  overbearing woman.  She was at the house three times, and then back over to my dad at the nursing home, and then on to my mother's home, where she got my mother totally worked up and I have had nothing but going-into-bender episodes with her. On Monday the 27th, she calls me late in the afternoon, and told me that she found nothing to backup the accusations that were made at all, that everything was totally unfounded.  I asked this woman,  that my guardianship attorney wanted a letter stating that charges and accusations have been dropped, and that I will not have to endure this any more.  She complied and sent a letter, I received that on Wednesday by Certified letter.  But now, because of all of this, my life has changed for the worse and I now have to proceed onto my soon to be new life on my own.

D and I will be separating and divorcing.  The strain of all of this has been too much, and the straw that broke the back was the APS case worker coming into the home.  He is beyond furious with my dad, I am too, and because of all of this, this has changed the way I look at my dad and all of the trouble he and the nursing home has caused.  We, (D and I),  are both trying to still be friends, and take things as they come daily, but since this has happened, I am on the radar screen for any one little thing that the nursing home, or my dad can come up with.  My mom is on the radar screen now also for anything, and a case worker can come out unannounced and anything is possible now.  D feels now that we will get no peace at all since this has happened, and lines must be drawn in the sand.  The APS worker mentioned that I will have this type of intrusion with the nursing home and my dad's accusations probably every 3 months or so. By law, every time an elder mentions that they are abused, APS is contacted.  So I will have to put up with this until my dad passes away.  I will mention that I hope its soon.  I am sorry to say.

So, I have been trying to find a cheap place to call home, I have been looking at very small studio apartments, something in my budget.  D will be selling the house that we just got not too long ago, and departing and going back to over the road driving  possibly up in the Bracken oil fields for equipment operations.  I did not ask for any money as since I am my dad's guardian, I cannot receive outside money as it will interfere with dad's Medicaid, so, its been a horrid January.

I guess you never know what will happen, and especially this.  I guess I just wanted everyone to know that I will try to stay with the blog, and give you reports.  I am still reading every one's blog, and keeping up with all of you. I have been looking at studios with a possible area where I could put some container pots.  This will be one of my points where I live as I cannot exist without some type of gardening, or I will go mad.

So, just a quickly our lives were great, now its trash.  Its funny how something like Alzheimer's can be a game changer.  The sad thing is, this is what this disease can and will do.  Its just not the patient, its the whole family.  And when you are unable to get help, or anything, it will take the family down with it, hook, line and sinker.  Starting this journey, I did not realize all of the laws, rules and everything in between has taken control of our lives, and a lot of this is the result of Obamacare, or whatever you want to call it.  I will call it a mess and a total destroyer of lives.  That is one thing you can count on from this.

Well, I will go for now.  I promise I will stay in contact.  I will be able to take the computer with me, so I can take care of my problem children's (parents) business.  I am only hoping that things may calm down, I doubt it, but until then, I am just taking it a day at a time.
I just want to again, thank all of you for your readership, your emails, and thoughts.  I want all of you to know that it is you that I am able to even get up in the morning to see what it going on.  Without all of you, I am not sure where I would be.  Thank you all for just being here, where ever in the world.

Hugs to All of You

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

A Most Joyous and Blessed Christmas Greeting

Good Morning Everyone,

I am sorry for the huge gap in posting, but as usual, I had some very urgent matters pertaining to my Dad with guardianship and the state and the nursing home trying to step in to take over.  I had to petition a district judge to step in to stop the mess, which thankfully he did and gave me a emergency guardianship and protection.  I was not expecting this and for a while, it was horrible, stressful and seemingly, not to ever end.  On top of all of that, my mom went into the hospital, and after a few days, I fell ill from some yucky flu something, that had me feeling terrible, and even now, I do not have too much strength or anything.  I am better, but still not up to par.  I will mend though.

I just want to wish everyone a most Joyous Holiday Season, in which I hope 2014 will have better tidings for all.
I want to thank all of you for your readership, support and just being there
Wishing all of you very special people a Wonderful Merry Christmas, and Blessed Tidings.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013


Good Morning Everyone,

I have been working on a post for over a week now.  As most of you know, I have been in the process of working with an elderly law attorney to get elder Medicaid waivers  for my parents, especially for my dad, who is in a care facility, to cover the long term care.  My mom, who is still at home, now has my dad's income to help with her expenses to pay for utilities and groceries. It took an attorney to get this done as the case worker who was assigned this case was nothing more than a b***h, pure and simple.  She also tried to get me into hot water, saying I performed an illegal act by putting in some of my money in the account and she *tried* to lower the boom on me and have charges brought up against me.  Well, in the law firm I am using for my parents legal issues, there was a young attorney, who was new to the firm and the attorney who was working with the Medicaid, called in this youngster to take on the b***h and her accusations, and he did it pro bono, as I just did not have funds to pay for this case, plus I am also paying for guardianship of both parents also.  So my plate is way beyond full.  This young attorney practices several fields and also handles defense cases for small issues like what I had arise, and one phone call to the case worker backed her off instantly, and I,  from what I have received in the mail,have  no more issues.  I received notification that my dad's case is handled now, and things are somewhat smoothed over for the nursing home.  I still have the petition for court for guardianship next Tuesday and will hopefully have no issues with that.  That was one important reason this young attorney got involved is the fact that I did not need a criminal record from a silly notion to hurt the guardianship for my parents, the case worker did not realize that was going on, and also did not know I was an only child and totally backed off from the young attorney's threats, which I was told he did, and also threatened her job at the state.  I hope that I do not have repercussions from that.
I will tell you that this little incident has really affected me, mentally and physically.  I have never been threatened like that before in my life with criminal action.  It was mind numbing and also shows what kind of a world we live in now. So take heed in this as it may happen to you.  The laws have changed so much in the last few years, and law for guardianship are steep. And to make matters even worse for me since I have a petition in court for guardianship,. last week, a woman, who was a state guardian for over 600 vulnerable adults in the State Medicaid system, was caught from a state audit of taking over $600,000.00 of these adult's money and using it herself.  From this case now, it has really affected my case and many others who are in the process of petitioning the courts for guardianship of family members.  My guardianship attorney, who is also with the same firm as my medicaid attorney, has warned me this will affect the court's view of myself and the case.  We will just have to go and see what kind of a mess this woman left for all who are in the process of guardianship.  It has left a bad mark for all.

Other than that and some issues with my parents and them acting up, its been quiet. I really have not had time to do much of anything.  I have tried to stop for even a few minutes, to cut out fabric for a quilt that I am trying to put together.  Even 15 minutes, helps me to get a little further.  It is mind soothing, and helps me to calm down. I  can hardly wait until I get the pieces cut and then I can fire up the sewing machine and start piecing it together.  Sharon, I am getting back into quilting slowly.  It took me a little bit to figure out the quilting rulers and the quarter inch you need for your seams.  After a few boo-boo's, got that figured out.
As I progress, and get some blocks done, I will post what I am working on.  I have four quilt patterns I am setting up for myself and two for a new niece-in-law and her young daughter.  I planned to do this to welcome her into D's family.

Like I mentioned on Sharon's blog. Mornings Minion, it is the brown season here.  As I am typing this post, it is starting to snow, and its just cold, period.  It is 11 *F with a wind chill of -7* F.  Tonight, the windchill will get to around -20*F to -25*F.  I am not sure of Celsius, but that's  cold. We aren't supposed to get too much snow, but the cold air.  I think I heard that this weekend, Sunday, we are supposed to maybe have significant snow, but for now, its just wait and see now.  If  the weather service posted a winter storm warning or blizzard warning, then its going to happen, until then, I'll just wait and see.

I am posting a new photo  of a new kitty I adopted about a month ago.  She was brought into my vet's clinic, from the animal shelter,  to be put to sleep, as she was old and old cats with no teeth cannot be adopted out or even be put on farms.  This beautiful cat was old and has only four teeth, but she was a house cat of some one's and her family never bothered to claim her or look for her.  She is a beautiful cat, a Siamese, and she is old, and I have no idea how old, but she is healthy, plays and bounces around, has the Siamese personality.  She is very charming and mellow.  So we welcomed her into our home and she is fitting in very well.  I was so glad I was in the vet's office picking up medication for a asthmatic cat as  she was 5 minutes away from euthanasia. It was meant to be.  Her name is Sammi.

Thanksgiving was quiet somewhat.  We spent noon Thanksgiving dinner with my dad, who was not good company.  It was stressful, and unpleasant.  But we endured and then the nursing home kitchen brought me a plate to take to my mom so she could have dinner also.  My dad is so mad at me about staying at the home, but he is next to impossible to take care of, doesn't eat, and argues with you.  He is not social with anyone, and tells me he wants to go home, but mentally, we are quite sure he will harm himself, to die by his hand somehow, and so he will stay there. My mother also cannot handle him at all. And all they would do is fight and I know and so does the Doctor, that she would hurt dad somehow and I do not need that either.    My mother's mental capabilities are not good either, as she is now getting violent outbursts and while I was down not blogging, she came after me with her cane and almost got me in the head.  D was there and came in between us to deflect the blow and then handled her and got her under control.  My mom will back down from D, but not me, which is what late stage 3 Alzheimer's do.  We told her one more outburst and she will be placed into the home with Dad, no questions asked or anything.  That will be that.

That is most of the reason I just have not blogged.  I am just too drained of energy, and the ability to even blog about anything.  My mind is consumed from all of this going on.  I would put my mother in the home, but at this moment in time, it just isn't in the works.  If I can hang on until spring, then it would look better, and I can get her placed and the home sold.  But now with winter coming on, its just not a good idea.

So, at this moment,  I am trying to get some sort of Holiday spirit.  I am doing a little decorating.  I am planning on doing some baking of some Christmas cakes or a fruit cake.  I would like to try Leanne's cake recipe. A lot will depend on what kind of a day I have with my folks.  My days revolve around that every day.  So if its quiet somewhat, I will tackle it.  I have to have some quiet to bake. Baking is not one of my expert pleasures but I did manage to make two pumpkin pies and they were very good I thought.  So maybe there is hope for me yet.

Not much at all to do outside now.   We are into the cold air now, and sometime soon, we will get snow, a blizzard or icy crap to make you stay in and enjoy the inside and eat yourself silly.  I am glad I am picking up my quilting.  Its just taking me a little while to remember things and how to use tools and the rulers.  I have a small stash of fabric I have collected for several years now, knowing that I would start to quilt at sometime.  It is now. As I am typing this to finish, a whole bunch of tumbleweeds are flying across the yard from the pasture to the west of me.  The wind is out of the north/northwest and some of the weeds are huge.  We had some bad winds the last few weeks, and some of those tumbleweeds were over 5 feet tall and wide. Just huge. They are the pits to handle.  They are prickly and bite-y. So you have to handle them with heavy gloves and then get out the big tree nippers and cut them up to place into the yard waste containers.  They are nasty weeds.

Well, I think that I have posted enough. I have some beef in the crockpot going, and I am having beef and noodles tonight.  I like the crockpot as you don't have to babysit the cooking.  My kind of cooking.
I wish everyone a wonderful rest of the week, and a peaceful weekend. Enjoy!

Love and Hugs