Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Froggy

A Good afternoon to all.

Its damp and cool here this afternoon, was very foggy this morning.  You could not see into the field behind me, it was so foggy.  The Interstate was almost zero visibility. I had to make a trip into town to find a filter for my cool mist humidifier. I usually do not start that up until about December, but our air is so very dry here, we've had no rain for several months and my hands are splitting and I'm trying to quilt or sew with split finger tips. Ouch!

I was going to stay in town a little while to shop, but people where driving with their heads up their behinds, running red lights, following too close in the back, and driving too fast going nowhere in the fog,  so I got my errand done and came home.  I am always amazed at how stupid people are.

Today is a bittersweet day. My Dad passed away a year ago today. Its hard to fathom. I miss both of my parents very much.  I don't however, miss the disease that took them away. What a horrid, degrading disease Alzheimer's is to the human spirit.

D is still fighting with the work comp attorney for the other side.  He is getting very frustrated, and is in a horrid amount of pain,  its getting very hard to hang on to something that you do not know when it will end.  The other issue is, he is showing signs of early stage dementia, so my care giving duties are not done, by the least, Unfortunately, for D, with no medical care on the closed head injury, its past help.  The other side does not acknowledge the fact, even when its documented in the medical reports.  I have to be around to council, and help remind him of things. Its never ending.

We are hoping, if all this settles, maybe in Spring or Summer, we are still planning to move.  Our community is dying by threads each day. Nothing is going. Not sure if its just here or all over or certain areas of the country.  People are barely hanging on here.  A shocker for us here is, 75% of elementary school students in school are on the free breakfast and the backpack programs for the weekends, to make sure the kids have something to eat at home.  I am shocked we live in a country  and a State that has Third World problems, like hunger. We even have "food deserts" here in town, the middle of agriculture and beef production, we have hunger.  I am ashamed. I also won't mention politics, which I am sick of at the moment.

So, today, I am quilting and doing a little sewing to calm my blue mind.  I have a desire to go back to simpler times.  I found a book of my mother's, Tasha Tudor's Heirloom Crafts.  I have been reading it this morning with my coffee, to ease a weary mind and to dream of a move to a quieter place, even if its in a book. I stopped and read some blogs, I came across Morning Minion's blog, and I was wishing I could go and help her process apples, which she was doing.

So, I am hoping that all of you are well, and getting ready for Fall, it will not be long before Holidays and all the commotions that go along with Holidays.  Holidays are very hard for me to take anymore. D and I talked of taking a few day Holiday during Thanksgiving, and look over the area where we would like to move, to get away for a few days and dream.  Not sure if we can pull that off, but its an idea.

Well, I need to finish up some housework things and good old laundry.  I wish everyone a wonderful week and enjoy what you are blessed with no matter how small or large.

Hugs to all.
Denim


 

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Under the weather but back at it.

Good Evening Everyone,

Again, my apologies for the absence. I had not been feeling well for quite some time, and this summer, was by far the worst I had felt. I took it that I was still recuperating from my care giving duties but was getting increasingly more ill, and then could not keep food down and was in a lot of pain.  I, reluctantly went to the Doctor, and went in for some testing, including imaging, and blood work, and come to find out, my Gallbladder was running at a poor 6%. Its supposed to run at around 35%. No wonder I felt bad. I was very concerned as I have had thyroid cancer in 1998 and worried that I had liver or some other cancer. In June, I had a colonoscopy and had one very small pre cancer that was taken out.  So, September 8th, I had surgery, and am now just starting to be able to sit and do some things. I am just now starting to drive again. Driving was a little painful, hitting bumps in the road. The Doctor thought that all the stress of care giving had finally caught up with me and I am now paying the fiddler.  I am hoping that I start healing and get on with life.

Other than that, very little going on at home. D is still disabled from his bull encounter, and work comp is still playing games. He has a new attorney, the other pulled out from under him, and we had to scramble to find a new qualified attorney. We did, and its pretty much square one again.  Its a tiresome game.

Our community is going down the loo, so to speak.  The Agriculture business, which is the heartbeat in our State is failing, corn and wheat prices are very weak, the railroad is laying off employees, and our town is now just a pool of dead water.  I know I think I mentioned that we talked about moving, but since D's work comp is not settled, and the real estate market is poor here now, I doubt we could sell the house. So we're making the best of it here as well as we can. At least we have a roof over the head and my sewing brings in a little income, so I can pay bills and put food on the table.  A Blessing that I'm getting well and hopefully stay that way.

I hope that all of you are doing well.  I have missed blogging, but sewing takes a lot of my time to make a living, so that has to come first. But I finished up sewing projects  yesterday, and I thought before I rest for the night, I would pop in, say "hi" and that I'm still here. 
I miss all of you and what all of you have been up to.  I hope to keep up with all, since I feel better.

Well, I'm tired, a unfortunate side effect from surgery, its getting better, but I tire pretty easy, so I will bid all a good evening, and a wonderful rest of the weekend.

Love and Hugs to All
Denim

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Back into the Light, slowly.

Hello dear friends,

My apologies for not posting since November of 2015.  A lot has gone on, since I lost my parents, and have had  to deal with estate issues, and trying to come up with money to pay for legal fees from the guardianship and other legal issues that came up with the nursing home and the false accusations. All it did was run up a legal tab that I will be unable to ever pay off in my lifetime.

Right after my parents funeral services, on November 1  of 2015, I opened up my industrial seamstress shop downtown, thinking I could sew and make some extra money to pay for all of these legal fees.  I was sewing at home, but we have an ill tempered neighbor who will call the cops every time a strange car comes into the street and that makes for uneasy feelings with the neighbors.
I was sewing on heavy items, like Carhart overalls, Wall overalls, bikers road leathers, replacing big zippers, and general repair.  I do not do alterations, I am not a general seamstress, but I can work on this big stuff as I bought a Rex industrial sewing machine, a behemoth , and took the old motor off and put a newer Servo motor that I am able to slow the machine down to one or two stitches and you can handle the machine better.  I was busy all through the winter, had stuff come in over my eyeballs. It was going good up until March of this year, then the town started a down hill spiral due to the layoff of a lot of Union Pacific railroaders, this due to the shutting down of the coal mines and the Obama's war on coal.Our town now is dying and people are leaving and the town is drying up, including my business.

I had 6 new railroaders who were transferred in from other areas, a few months before all this happened, did a lot of work on their work clothes, some of the work totalled over $100 a piece, I needed that money so badly to pay my estate bill, but instead, stiffed me using debit cards then cancelling the transactions.  My attorney went in immediately to retrieve the funds, using a new attorney in the firm, working pro bono, as I just could not afford any more fees. I was told that most of the money has been retrieved, except for one, but I think the firm put a lien on his paycheck and I should get that soon.
So, I got mad about that, and shut the shop down, and went back home to work.  But everything is totally slowed down to almost nothing, no one is spending money or anything.    

Because of the town drying up, and a few other issues about being in this community, which I cannot take anymore, because my parents are not here anymore, I have no family here, and the town is literally going to pot.  We have nothing here anymore but meth, and sexual predators coming into town by the hundreds.  Also, D and I cannot afford the property taxes anymore. He cannot work anymore and the house taxes are beyond our incomes, so we are planning on moving hopefully sometime in late summer or early Fall.  We are looking at the NW area, Washington or Idaho.
We are hoping to be able to sell the house, with all of the layoffs, and get out of here. We'll move everything, animals, everything. I am clearing out my parents stuff from the house, we had a huge garage sale last Friday and Saturday, got rid of a ton of stuff. I still have to go through small items, and most of that will go to GoodWill or the dump. I cannot hang onto things anymore and if we move, I can't take much.  So that is what I'm doing now, going through and clearing out everything.

I have lost a lot of my beautiful cats also.  Old age, cancer, other ailments, so that has been sad. I miss them all. But life goes on and the ones I have left,  they will be moving with us to a new home I hope soon. Dogs too.  They are old and ill, but will come with us unless they go down hill.

Well, thats it for now, in a nut shell.  Almost too much to talk about.  It seems like life has just jumped by, it almost runs day by day, and its a blur to me. 
The only thing that keeps me focused is the fact that we're  planning on moving, and it keeps me going to plan something new.  I am excited, scared, not even sure if we can move at our age.  I'm also nervous as my eyesight is very limited now, because of the retina tear, I have distortion in the left eye and my driving is limited. For me to drive a moving van with a car in tow, and animals in crates really bothers me.  But we will cross that bridge when we get there.

 
Well, I will leave you all. Wishing all a wonderful week.  I will try to post more often.  Oh, that was the other reason, I was having problems with Blogger and getting logged back into it.  That took me a while to figure out.

Hugs to All of you.
Denim



Friday, November 20, 2015

Re emerging after a tough year

Hello everyone,
It's been a very long time, and a difficult year, for me physically, mentally, and financially.
My long sabbatical hopefully over. I had my computer die on me, no money to fix or get a new one. I ended up getting a Kindle, that I like and it serves its purpose. I also had lots of trouble with getting access to my blog account, it may have been hacked, but I think that may be fixed.
I lost both of my parents this year. My Mom passed June 25th. My Dad passed October 22nd. I had services for both October 29th, and placed them at our Veterans National Cemetery, Fort McPherson.
I won't go into details, but it was long, and drawn out, and slow for both to die. My only concern was keeping them comfortable, and quiet. It was pitiful for them.
I am now going through the drawn out process of estate closure, and dissolve the guardianship and conservatories. More money that I do not have.
I just can't cover everything, but I have ended up going back into doing seamstress work, and doing more heavy items like car and boat covers, outdoor equipment, and trying to learn how to work on tactical gear. I have had to go back even with a bad left eye. I've had several surgeries on my eye to try to save what sight I have, as I have huge legal fees that have to be paid from the estate according to law, or I will be found in contempt of court, so I will plug along and pay what I can every month until it's paid.
I have missed everyone, and have lost track of all. I will try to catch up with all of you.
Well, I will try to post and keep up again.
Hugs to all
Denimflyz

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

One Eyed Willy and other tales

Good Afternoon Everyone,

I thought I'd better pop in.   I tried to promise to post, but as Murphy's Law dominates my life,
On  January 29th, I had emergency eye surgery in Hastings Nebraska, about two and a half hours from my home town,  There are few eye surgeons in our state, only about four, and that's if you do not want to drive 5 hours to the urban areas and spend hundreds of dollars on hotel rooms and food,
Hastings supports a wonderful eye specialist for retina tears, which I had, in fact, I had four tears, with one tearing around my optic nerve and a high risk of being blind.  Dr Welch, a well respected eye surgeon, fixed my eye and I was back January 30th, and recovered at home.  
I have limited vision in my left eye, it will be months before it heals, and about a year to see if I can get some of my vision back.  So, time is the denominator in this issue.
Because of limited vision, D went out yesterday and bought me a new laptop with text that I can read better.  I have been working on getting the laptop configured with working with one eye.  My right eye is now a very dominate eye and is taking up for the slacker left eye.
All of this came down at the same time I was finishing up packing up my parents home, moving things, then Dad going in the hospital with the flu.  Too much stress and being older and very, very severely near sighted, the retina let go.  I did, however while this was going on, sold my parents home and got that very big issue out of my way. I do not have to worry about mowing, and care of two homes. I have not told my parents I sold it.  They are doing very poorly, not eating and degrading slowly, I do not need to tell them anything to upset them even more.
So, I am healing at home.  No driving at all.  I go in March 16th, for my checkup, there Dr will determine if I can drive limited.  D needs surgery on his leg, but this was postponed when I had this little mishap. So we will just see and pray.
Well, my eye is getting tired, and I have a sniffle, what else is new.  Kitties are fine, doggies are fine, and I just take it one day at a time. I am trying to keep tabs on all of you through the blogs.

Hugs to All
 Denim

Sunday, January 18, 2015

I am still here,

Dear Everyone,

I do not have words to say how very sorry I am for not posting for a (horridly) long time.  The past 7 months have been dreadful, horrible, stressful, and unkind.
But I have pushed through, barely.  D has been in bad shape and all I have done, and looking back, I do not know how I did it...Starting with new doctors in a community 100 miles away, physical therapy here, then to a rehab center in the Capital of our state, Lincoln.  It is one of the finest centers for recovery of many different accidents and injuries.  Mental, physical, and total body help.  D went there in December for an evaluation, I had to stay home, many things going on here from trying to clean out my parents home, to putting it on the real estate market to sell, to me having a mini stroke in July, to trying to get well to finish cleaning out parents home.  I have been eight months cleaning, sorting, and storing.  I am almost complete, by the end of this month, it will be done.
I am still dealing with the stoke issues.  I lost partial vision in my left eye,  but still, I had to finish doing everything I could do.  I could not find any help what so ever here.  I was shocked at how lazy people are here.  So, I completed the job myself. And as D was able to get around better in the wheelchair, he cleaned the garage out wheeling around the garage and sorting tools, and throwing out.  We threw out over three quarters of nothing but junk.  Now its almost done.
I just wanted to pop in, as I feel pretty good to get back on the computer and post.  I have guardianship court in a few weeks for both parents and that was very stressful, completing all transactions and coming up with a total complete balance of the estate.  It took me over two weeks to complete and finish.  Now the attorney has it and she will go over everything and get it in proper order.
I will try to pop in on Sundays.  They are a total rest day now for me.  I usually shut down the computer on the weekends, but I will try to catch up with all of you.
I sent loving thoughts to all of you, I will get better.  I have missed all of you.
Many hugs
 

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Keeps Gettin' Better

Good Evening Everyone,

I thought I'd maybe better post to let all know, (or not know) that I am still here, hanging on, and it seems it will never quit.  I have been running the last few weeks taking my mother to an orthopedic specialist at a clinic about 100 miles away.  About 6 years ago, her left leg bone broke at where the shaft of her artificial hip was and spiral broke around it.  The surgeon plated her leg bone with a plate and about 13 screws holding the plate in place.  Its a piece of work, on xray, but now the hip keeps falling out of place and I have been threatened a few times to get her to this specialist.  D and I have been very sick the last month with some virus that made you feel like you could crawl somewhere to die.  I had not been that sick for about 7 years. He and I still have the bark. We finally were well enough to take her to this specialist.
We took her to Kearney last Wednesday, and it was a hell of a trip.  We had to rent a car as we do not have a road worthy  vehicle.  And then she turned in a total animal, and she was even sedated.  Well, to change the outcome of her getting her surgery, D ended up being hurt pretty bad yesterday afternoon (Monday), by a steer.  He was loading at a feed lot about 50 miles from here and another trucking company owner and himself were trying to load these cattle.  The next thing D said, was a Brahma, about 1800 #, was staring at him, and then as quick as a New York minute, the steer had him down  in the feedlot, and pinned him.  It took a lot of men, and some cowboys on horseback to get the steer off of him, and one of the cowboys shot the steer to keep it from hurting or killing someone else.  It was a nightmare.  The owner of the feedlot said that the cattle were spooky, and unruly all day yesterday, and I am sure it is because we are having very bad weather today and tonight.  Very stormy and unsettled.  So the small village where everyone was at has an ambulance and EMT's and they had him in the unit and hauled butt back here to ER.  He was badly stomped on, and his right leg broken in 3 places.  I just got home here about 7:30 pm tonight, after sitting all day at the hospital and in surgery, where they pinned and rodded the leg.  I left as I was completely exhausted from sitting last night til about midnight and then up at 7 am and back at the hospital about 9 am. D was still heavily sedated and still groggy so the nurses told me to go home as he was in good hands and if they need me, they will call. 
I am sure that Glenda from Living and Gardening in the Ozarks will attest, cattle are extremely unpredictable. These were fats going to Fort Morgan to the plant. These were large and heavy cattle.
So now, I have a man down, as well and try to handle my parents.  I went today before I went to the hospital, and explained to my parents, that I cannot at this time be a their beckoned call.  They will just have to plan by  my schedule as I can plan.  It will be at least 8 weeks, if not more before D is healed, and he is 60, and it make take longer.  It depends on many things.  We will just see on a daily basis.
So, at this point in time, I feel that I have a curse on me.  I guess all I can do it ask for strength and take it each day as it comes.
So, other than that, I have been doing ok, I am upset at all of this, but I feel I can just take it by the horns, so to speak and as the British say, "Keep calm and Carry On", which is what I will do.
Other than this little bump, things have been somewhat calmer, I finally got my garden in, it will be totally late this year.  We had very chilly weather and cold and I had to re-start a lot of the garden.  Now, its just worry about hail and bad weather which is ramping up now.  We need rain so bad.  Sunday we got 2 inches, which we needed so very badly.  If it would just rain and no hail or nasty storms like we are getting now.
But, I am still here, and will try to post how everything is going.  I have been trying to keep up with all of you and reading about what everyone is doing.  I know it will get better.
Well, as FlowerLady says, I am ready to get horizontal, I am just exhausted so I will just keep all posted and wish hugs and love to all.