Thursday, March 7, 2013

Back from Sabbatical and Exhausted

Good Morning Everyone,

I thought I'd better pop in and let everyone know I am still breathing, though I am absolutely exhausted and run down.  I have been sleeping on average over 10-12 hours with it averaging 12 hours usually.  I have only done this if I was very sick or when I had my surgeries.  I am personally shocked.  And when I get up, I am tired, and feel I am in a dazed and confused state.  What a way to be in.
I just want to thank all of you for your concerns, blessings, get wells and just being there for us.  Just knowing all of the love, thoughts are surrounding us means the world to me.  Thank you so much!

My dad is doing much better, but he will have issues with motor skills on the left side.  I am so very thankful that he has his mental capacity, though he cannot remember streets or areas.  He can feed himself, and has most of his mental abilities, though names of people sometimes throw him. He is in a care center, which he does not like, but he knows that he has to be there to get well and to get home, which is my goal.  At home, I will be able to handle and care for him and my mom, with some help from Home Health nurses.  It will be a slow process, and he has his goals to get home, that is all he has on his mind.

About two weeks ago, Dad had another   very tiny stroke, and this set him back somewhat.  Before, he was up and motoring around good, but this last little stroke, did set him back from the goals.  He is coming out of this last episode well, though it has made some motor skill changes to him.  He is still looking good, and getting around good.  I am thankful and blessed.
My mom is ok, but mentally is not doing good with Dad being gone.  After Dad had his first  stroke, I had two weeks of her panicking as to where he was.  She is doing somewhat better now, though its been over a month now.  I have done nothing but run to Kearney hospital and back, and then the hospital here and back and the  care center for Dad and then their home, and then my home.  I now can see why I am tired.....

While all of this was going on, we managed to get to Council Bluffs Iowa to finish D's work comp hearing and settlement.  This was a long drawn out process of eight full hours of the mediator running from one sealed room to another making settlement bids. We were sealed in a room, it was relaxed but you couldn't run around the office, you could take potty breaks, and lunch and coffee was provided for and we were treated very well by D's attorney and staff.  The good news: D  won his case, was was presented with a monetary amount.  It is  not much when everyone gets their fingers out of the pie, but it will help with his lifetime medical and it left us with enough to get into a home. We will be careful with it and being frugal.
Right up to the end, the employer denied that they did anything wrong, and felt that they were railroaded.  But the Iowa work comp commissioner felt otherwise, awarding D his settlement.  I am so glad it is over.  We are now in the process of waiting for papers to be signed and FedEx'ed back and forth.  D signed everything first, and overnight ed everything back to his attorney, then papers were sent to the other side's attorney, but  D's attorney had to call her and threaten her again as she was not signing papers quickly and getting everything sent to the commissioner's office for sign off on his part.  They are still dragging it out, but D called yesterday and was told that the papers were signed and sent, and then the check from the other side will be sent to D's attorney and they will put it in the trust account, and then issued  his monetary amount and it will be done. What a ride this has been, and hopefully the end of another very stressful situation, four years is too much to endure
I have nothing else to talk about, except just a lot of stress.  I will however here soon, do a blog on my experience with my dad in the hospital and what I think all of you, especially here in the US should be on the lookout for and be aware of.  It pertains with the Obamacare, and you will not like what you will run into.  This will be a separate blog post and I will do my best to fill in what happened.  I am not sure if all states will run this way or do what I had experienced in the hospital, especially here in my community. But I feel it needs to be brought to your attention and just be aware of what may be asked of you or your family in a crisis situation.
I will try to do this post sometime over the weekend, or work on it over a week as it will be pretty lengthy.

Other than that, nothing is going on.  I do not think that I will be able to do much gardening, except maybe some things in my pots.  I am just not going to have time. I am trying to make time just for me, and that is hard as my parents are clingy now and I am now the parent, making decisions, I know that it must be done, but I do not like the position that I am in and sometimes being the bad guy now.  I am so very thankful that  the care center where my dad is at is a loving, supporting place for both residents and family.  Last Friday, I had a one hour council session with the director in which I was enveloped with a lot of love, support and was encouraged to talk, cry, piss and moan, which at first I did not do, but then about fifteen minutes into the session, the tears flowed, and I voiced my fears, and goals, and then I felt so much better and was able to look at everything in a better light.  I have never been to a council session before. I am not one to talk to others about what is going on, but here, I needed to.  And yes, I did feel better. 

Well, I need to get going,  I am trying to place catch-up with my housework, and other home care I need to do, and then later this week, I have to go to my parents home, and do housework there also.  Then off to the care center to see my dad, which I do at least twice a day.  The director did slow me down and intervened with my dad, very gently that I was doing too much running and that no one wanted me to get sick and be down on the count too, so I have been going to the center in the evenings after supper.  I started my mom on meals on wheels for lunch and this helps me a lot for meal prep.  So things are somewhat slowing down some.  We are supposed to have some stormy weather moving in on the weekend and I need to get everything ready for that too. 
High-Ho, High-Ho, its off to work I go!!!!!!

I wish everyone a wonderful upcoming weekend, and I will try to blog later.
Thank you again, everyone for your support.


  1. Dear Denim ~ It is no wonder you are exhausted, you have been stressed to the MAX over so much. You are in my thoughts and prayers with caring for your Dad and Mom and both of your homes. I am so glad the workman's comp case is over for D.

    Love and hugs to you ~ FlowerLady

  2. I'm exhausted just reading this, I can't imagine living it! I think your parents are very lucky to have you. Please hang in there and remember what the stewardess says: always affix your own oxygen mask first before attempting to help others! Seriously, you need to take care of yourself or you're no good to anyone.

    Sending you purrs and head butts,

  3. Vicki; I was glad to read this post as I had been wondering how things are for you. I can see that your time and energies are being stressed to the max--and its hard to simply say "I need a break!" I hope life will slow down a bit!

  4. Bless your heart! -- How lucky they are to have you. Remember the lifeguard's lesson, and don't get yourself drowned trying to save someone else from drowning. I know it sounds selfish, but you do have to take care of yourself, and take time for yourself. You are the prop that keeps everything up. If you go down, everything goes to pieces.

  5. 4 years is a long time to be fighting for your rights.

    I'm glad your Dad is doing better and so happy that you will be able to get your own piece of property.

    I wish you well.

  6. What they said! Rest up and know you have done everything you could possibly do for your family, young and old. Now put yourself first for a while. As an only child, I know what it feels like to be having to cope with an elderly parent and it is a HUGE stress. Your dad is in good care and your mum seems to be gradually understanding the situation.

    Thinking of you and wishing you strength. Love, Jennie xx

  7. Rest up, dear lady. If you don't look after yourself, you'll be no use to anyone. You should take at least one whole day each week just for YOU. Cro x

  8. Sorry I took so long to read this blog post. I'm glad you are done with the WC claim stuff. At least that is one small positive for you right now.

    I so wish I lived near you and could help you in some way. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Lorie