Wednesday, July 10, 2013

When it rains, it pours

Good Afternoon Everyone,
I start this post Sat, July 6th.

Well, it has been a roller coaster here. Its not getting better, either which way it goes.  I hate it when this is all that goes on, just a repeat of yesterday, like the movie, "Groundhog Day".
My Dad did a stupid, and I mean stupid thing on the 4th of July.  He went out in the yard to try to water something in the front flowerbed, and his left leg, the weak one, got tangled up in the hose and he went down and broke the top of his hip bone.  I am just furious, and my mother is flipping out as usual.
The Orthopedic surgeon did surgery yesterday afternoon and pinned the hip and ran a rod down into the leg to the knee to stabilize it.  I went this morning to see him, he is dazed, and somewhat out of it.
I have no idea what to do now.  I have started proceedings for  his veteran benefits.  I am angry that this was not done years ago.  But I cannot change things now.  When I went up to the hospital, I took the chance for him to sign these papers to start his VA nursing home application.  I wanted it signed, as if something happens, these papers are signed, and maybe I can get benefits for mom.  I am not sure, as the VA is being cut, but I am going to try.

So, its not been very good at all, and to top it all off, D and I just have come home from the vet's office this afternoon,  as I had to put one of my young cats to sleep.  She got sick last week, and did not recover, and had a terrible fever of over 105* which is bad, and we had blood work done, and she tested positive for Leukemia, and would not make a recovery.  D is very upset, I am upset, and I cannot make any more decisions anymore for a while.  I know next week, I have to make decisions, but at the moment I cannot do anymore.  I am tapped out.

I do not think that anything will end.  It just gets worse each and every day.  The stress is unbelievable, and I cannot catch a break.  My Dad was getting bull headed and would not listen to me, or anyone, he just thought that he could go do what he used to do and now he has put me in a terrible position, something that I just do not think that I can do.  He did not even think of what strain it would be and now, its just terrible.  I am so angry, so very angry of the stress that this is put upon me.  My mom is being loopy now, and is giving me problems as to what is going on and I am waiting for the shoe to drop on her.  I have tried to get help, but I cannot, its just a mess, and with all of this Obama care crap, this medical system is totally busted, and I am not kidding when I say that.  No one knows what will go on, no one knows what will happen.  That is where its at, at the present time.

I so want to work on my house.  I have not been able to even do much at my home, as I am running after my parents even more now , and now, more paperwork and some how find it to put Dad in the VA home in Grand Island, which is 140 miles away.
I am shocked that my garden is doing very well.  The one thing that IS doing OK.  It will be a very late garden, but it is growing and looking very good.
D ended up buying a used John Deere lawn tractor.  The lawn here is much larger than what I had at the trailer.  It would take 3 hours to mow with the lawn mower, and now with this JD, it takes just a little over an hour now.  And we are not totally pooped out when we mow.  I am still learning how to drive it and handle it, but I need to gain my confidence, which right now, I do not have much of, considering what has been going on.

I am looking back at my blogging, and for the last 6 months, its been totally caca, (sh*t).  I am so sad, angry that I cannot blog about anything else but bad things.  Does any of this ever go away.  Does anything ever get better?  I question anything anymore, as no one at this point in time can tell me anything, or even help.

July 10th
Have Dad back into the original care center he was at.  He is so very sorry for what he has done, and I just cannot have the nerve to chew on him.  It does not make anything better, only worse.  I just told him last night when I went to see him that he needs to quit feeling sorry for himself and that he needs to get going and heal and get better.  It does no good to moop around. So I told him that if he wants to get home again, he needs to do his physical therapy and continue like he did before when he had his strokes, and he did well, so he needs to do it again.  He only has 24 days of nursing home care here, from Medicare, and then I have to send him to the Grand Island VA care center to finish out his physical therapy.  I have to go this afternoon and pick up papers from his PC physician and then get them over to the VA central office to send in.  I am switching over to the VA medical system for both Mom and him.  I may get better results than I have been getting.  I am not sure of what cuts have been made but I am going to try anyway.  I have no other choices in the matter.  As I have mentioned, the new Obamacare system is totally a train wreck and no one knows what is going on, what will happen or how much.  Nothing can be figured out and there are so many rules and regulations that no one can keep track of it.  It is truly a train wreck now.

Now, a little bit of good news, my garden produced my first Zucchini and yellow squash.  I am going to fix them with dinner tonight.  I am starting to see small tomatoes, and some very tiny cucumbers also. Its just been a total bummer of a summer, if I say so myself.  I am trying to see the positive and bright side. D added a bed just to the west of my raised garden bed for my Strawberry plants and then the other side will be my herb bed.  The herbs will be hopefully on next years agenda, definitely not this year. I have to thin out my Walking onions in the ghetto buckets.  The buckets are getting thin and brittle and I need to place them somewhere this fall.  I am getting rolled eyes as to having another raised bed done, but it would be nice, as next year I am hoping for a calmer beginning, can't say I will have but I am hoping.

Well,  I am going to try again to have better news, and more things to tell as to what we are doing at the new home.  Still have not heard from the moron owner, and so it is just left until something comes up or contact is made.
We have been adding shelving to the garage to put my canning supplies up and out of the road. I have three shelves up now, that are eight feet long, and its holding all of my canners and  my dehydrating supplies up now.  Its nice as you can get around a little now.  I still have bags and boxes to go through.  I am going through clothing and have a box set up for the thrift shop, and then the trash.  I am just closing my eyes and throwing now.
Sometime later, I am going to have our heat/air guy come out and give me a quote to run a gas line to the garage for the gas stove so I can do my canning in the garage.  The gas line is close to the garage and possibly can be run under the house to the garage.  It would be nice as I would not heat up the house in summer.  Another "we will see" projects.

Well, I think that I have probably ruined the day, but I am still here, still hanging on, and still trying to be positive.  I am hoping it will quiet down, and I can start to heal my soul and slow down.
Until the next blog post, all of you please take care, enjoy the time and the day, and have a wonderful upcoming weekend.

Love and Hugs



  1. Morning Denim. I see it's going to get worse before it gets better, but it WILL GET BETTER . . . Your dad obviously doesn't think he is old yet and wants to carry on as he always has done - it must be very difficult to admit to yourself that you can't do something as simple as watering the garden any more. A fall like that a few years back would have meant just a few bruises . . . but not now. He is feeling very contrite and you are feeling guilty, I don't doubt, for getting mad at him . . . And then there's your mum . . .

    I hope that once your dad is in the Grand Island VA care place you will have some respite. Your garden sounds like it is doing well, even without you lavishing lots of time and attention on it and the rest of the set up you are putting in place sounds great.

    I was very sorry to hear about your young cat having to be pts. I can cope with it when a cat has had a good long life and it comes to a natural conclusion, but when it is a young cat with its whole life ahead . . . that hurts so much. We don't have the strays tested who come here. Everyone has to take their chance. There is feline leukemia in the feral population, and we had to have Honey pts with possible Leukemia (but then possibly not) . . .

    I tried e-mailing you earlier this week but it wants to know what sort of system runs my email (technical details I know nothing of) so I couldn't get in touch. You were in my thoughts though.

  2. I can only say what you already know: keep pressing on.

    I guess I missed you had moved so congrats. I'm glad you are finding some comfort in your garden. I stood in mine this morning and looked at everything flowering and growing... it was a nice calm after a frustrating night.

    Your gas line to the garage... make sure it's a good price vs. using propane tanks and make sure it's ventilated well.

    Chin up, have a hug from Colorado.

  3. I am glad you have the new home and garden; think about that and let it cheer you and give you hope.

    I thought of a point regarding your parents. Do you have a durable power of attorney for them. You can find forms on the internet. It sounds like it is something you need to have. Check it out.

    1. Yes, I do have POA and Durable POA. I just got this done about a month and a half ago. I went to their attorney and got this done.
      I am now waiting for the VA to see if he qualifies for the vets home in Grand Island, which is closer to me. I am unfortunatly going to have to keep Dad at the current care center until then, which means I have to pay for it, but not much else I can do. I will cross this bridge when I get to it.