Saturday, June 22, 2013

Good Morning Everyone,

This morning, as I sit in my office/sewing room overlooking the pasture to the west, having a cup of tea, and trying to get my bearings to start the day, I had the wonderful pleasure to see a deer, a doe, trot just behind the house.  She was heading toward I-80 to the north of me, which I am just a half mile away.  Then, something startled her, and she bounced back to the south on a dead run. We do have roads to the south and north, and deer get hit on these roads as well as I-80.  The deer are very thick around here.  But hopefully, she got across the road and did not encounter a car or truck...this time.

It has been busy here, and stressful, same crap, different day now.  I am now trying to get through boxes, and put things away, sorting through things again, and either throwing away, or donating.  I have not been able to get too much done.  My parents have been a pain, this last week.  My dad, decided that he wanted the keys to the car and that he was going to start driving, he told me yesterday.  I went to run a few errands and dropped off the errands to their house, and he immediately jumped in my face about him driving himself around.  I blew my top and told he he could not, that his drivers license has been suspended
because he has had three strokes, and he cannot even see over the steering wheel, he is so crippled over and his body collapsed down.  He was mad as I confronted him and that I was not going to tell him what to do, and I told him that if he even thought about getting in the car, that I would have him stopped and then he would be finished.  He is not speaking to me, which I really don't care at all.  Too bad, so sad.
I had to really get crappy with them yesterday, and I told them that if this is the way that they would like to act that I would be making decisions to place them in assisted living and sell the house.  If they wanted to have someone treat them like juveniles then, I would do so.  They sort of quieted down and I have not heard anything more out of them

I feel like I am going mad, and I am now in the resentment stage of the game.  I have requested help from the VA office, and this is in the works.  I am asking for respite care also, so I can have a break. At this point in the game, I am at this moment, truly sorry for everything that I have done for them, both medically and physically.  I am exhausted, both mentally and physically and to try to find help here is almost impossible.  We just do not have resources.  We do, but most is only available to people who have lots of money and can pay for services. People like me just are not given options.  I am hoping that the VA will be able to help me a little, especially with the medications.  One of dad's med is $274, and D had to pay for that the last time, as this was the co-pay on the med.  Its one that dad has to have.  Its the stroke med and it is needed.

This sky yesterday morning  turned a very sickening yellow/orange color yesterday.  It is from the fires in Colorado, and it was almost apocalyptic in its looks.  Yesterday, when I called the home health nurse about dad, she told me that yesterday morning, when the sky turned the colors it did, that all of the sudden, patients who her caregivers were taking care of, suddenly started acting funny, like dad, and that they were having problems with a number of clients.  This morning, the sky is turning the same color....I hope I do not have a repeat of yesterday with my parents.

My garden is growing now.  I shudder when we have storms roll through, since they have hail in them.  If it gets hailed out, I am not going to garden this year at all.  I will just go to farmers market and leave it at that. 
I am getting ready to go to get my food paks that I purchase from Prairieland foods.  This is my savings for groceries and I have been pleased with their products.  Earlier this week, I fixed a huge chicken breast that I purchased from Prairieland and it was just awesome.  These breasts were huge.  They looked like turkey breasts, but they baked up so good, and I did not need to baste them at all.  I put this one in a roaster and left it to bake most of the day, and it was just delicious.  It makes awesome sandwiches also. 

Well, I need to get ready to go and get my grocery paks. Then hopefully home, and get to unloading some boxes today.  I hope that I do not have any issues so I can get some work done.  Hopefully.....
I wish everyone a wonderful, peaceful weekend.

Hugs and Love