Tuesday, December 24, 2013

A Most Joyous and Blessed Christmas Greeting

Good Morning Everyone,

I am sorry for the huge gap in posting, but as usual, I had some very urgent matters pertaining to my Dad with guardianship and the state and the nursing home trying to step in to take over.  I had to petition a district judge to step in to stop the mess, which thankfully he did and gave me a emergency guardianship and protection.  I was not expecting this and for a while, it was horrible, stressful and seemingly, not to ever end.  On top of all of that, my mom went into the hospital, and after a few days, I fell ill from some yucky flu something, that had me feeling terrible, and even now, I do not have too much strength or anything.  I am better, but still not up to par.  I will mend though.

I just want to wish everyone a most Joyous Holiday Season, in which I hope 2014 will have better tidings for all.
I want to thank all of you for your readership, support and just being there
Wishing all of you very special people a Wonderful Merry Christmas, and Blessed Tidings.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013


Good Morning Everyone,

I have been working on a post for over a week now.  As most of you know, I have been in the process of working with an elderly law attorney to get elder Medicaid waivers  for my parents, especially for my dad, who is in a care facility, to cover the long term care.  My mom, who is still at home, now has my dad's income to help with her expenses to pay for utilities and groceries. It took an attorney to get this done as the case worker who was assigned this case was nothing more than a b***h, pure and simple.  She also tried to get me into hot water, saying I performed an illegal act by putting in some of my money in the account and she *tried* to lower the boom on me and have charges brought up against me.  Well, in the law firm I am using for my parents legal issues, there was a young attorney, who was new to the firm and the attorney who was working with the Medicaid, called in this youngster to take on the b***h and her accusations, and he did it pro bono, as I just did not have funds to pay for this case, plus I am also paying for guardianship of both parents also.  So my plate is way beyond full.  This young attorney practices several fields and also handles defense cases for small issues like what I had arise, and one phone call to the case worker backed her off instantly, and I,  from what I have received in the mail,have  no more issues.  I received notification that my dad's case is handled now, and things are somewhat smoothed over for the nursing home.  I still have the petition for court for guardianship next Tuesday and will hopefully have no issues with that.  That was one important reason this young attorney got involved is the fact that I did not need a criminal record from a silly notion to hurt the guardianship for my parents, the case worker did not realize that was going on, and also did not know I was an only child and totally backed off from the young attorney's threats, which I was told he did, and also threatened her job at the state.  I hope that I do not have repercussions from that.
I will tell you that this little incident has really affected me, mentally and physically.  I have never been threatened like that before in my life with criminal action.  It was mind numbing and also shows what kind of a world we live in now. So take heed in this as it may happen to you.  The laws have changed so much in the last few years, and law for guardianship are steep. And to make matters even worse for me since I have a petition in court for guardianship,. last week, a woman, who was a state guardian for over 600 vulnerable adults in the State Medicaid system, was caught from a state audit of taking over $600,000.00 of these adult's money and using it herself.  From this case now, it has really affected my case and many others who are in the process of petitioning the courts for guardianship of family members.  My guardianship attorney, who is also with the same firm as my medicaid attorney, has warned me this will affect the court's view of myself and the case.  We will just have to go and see what kind of a mess this woman left for all who are in the process of guardianship.  It has left a bad mark for all.

Other than that and some issues with my parents and them acting up, its been quiet. I really have not had time to do much of anything.  I have tried to stop for even a few minutes, to cut out fabric for a quilt that I am trying to put together.  Even 15 minutes, helps me to get a little further.  It is mind soothing, and helps me to calm down. I  can hardly wait until I get the pieces cut and then I can fire up the sewing machine and start piecing it together.  Sharon, I am getting back into quilting slowly.  It took me a little bit to figure out the quilting rulers and the quarter inch you need for your seams.  After a few boo-boo's, got that figured out.
As I progress, and get some blocks done, I will post what I am working on.  I have four quilt patterns I am setting up for myself and two for a new niece-in-law and her young daughter.  I planned to do this to welcome her into D's family.

Like I mentioned on Sharon's blog. Mornings Minion, it is the brown season here.  As I am typing this post, it is starting to snow, and its just cold, period.  It is 11 *F with a wind chill of -7* F.  Tonight, the windchill will get to around -20*F to -25*F.  I am not sure of Celsius, but that's  cold. We aren't supposed to get too much snow, but the cold air.  I think I heard that this weekend, Sunday, we are supposed to maybe have significant snow, but for now, its just wait and see now.  If  the weather service posted a winter storm warning or blizzard warning, then its going to happen, until then, I'll just wait and see.

I am posting a new photo  of a new kitty I adopted about a month ago.  She was brought into my vet's clinic, from the animal shelter,  to be put to sleep, as she was old and old cats with no teeth cannot be adopted out or even be put on farms.  This beautiful cat was old and has only four teeth, but she was a house cat of some one's and her family never bothered to claim her or look for her.  She is a beautiful cat, a Siamese, and she is old, and I have no idea how old, but she is healthy, plays and bounces around, has the Siamese personality.  She is very charming and mellow.  So we welcomed her into our home and she is fitting in very well.  I was so glad I was in the vet's office picking up medication for a asthmatic cat as  she was 5 minutes away from euthanasia. It was meant to be.  Her name is Sammi.

Thanksgiving was quiet somewhat.  We spent noon Thanksgiving dinner with my dad, who was not good company.  It was stressful, and unpleasant.  But we endured and then the nursing home kitchen brought me a plate to take to my mom so she could have dinner also.  My dad is so mad at me about staying at the home, but he is next to impossible to take care of, doesn't eat, and argues with you.  He is not social with anyone, and tells me he wants to go home, but mentally, we are quite sure he will harm himself, to die by his hand somehow, and so he will stay there. My mother also cannot handle him at all. And all they would do is fight and I know and so does the Doctor, that she would hurt dad somehow and I do not need that either.    My mother's mental capabilities are not good either, as she is now getting violent outbursts and while I was down not blogging, she came after me with her cane and almost got me in the head.  D was there and came in between us to deflect the blow and then handled her and got her under control.  My mom will back down from D, but not me, which is what late stage 3 Alzheimer's do.  We told her one more outburst and she will be placed into the home with Dad, no questions asked or anything.  That will be that.

That is most of the reason I just have not blogged.  I am just too drained of energy, and the ability to even blog about anything.  My mind is consumed from all of this going on.  I would put my mother in the home, but at this moment in time, it just isn't in the works.  If I can hang on until spring, then it would look better, and I can get her placed and the home sold.  But now with winter coming on, its just not a good idea.

So, at this moment,  I am trying to get some sort of Holiday spirit.  I am doing a little decorating.  I am planning on doing some baking of some Christmas cakes or a fruit cake.  I would like to try Leanne's cake recipe. A lot will depend on what kind of a day I have with my folks.  My days revolve around that every day.  So if its quiet somewhat, I will tackle it.  I have to have some quiet to bake. Baking is not one of my expert pleasures but I did manage to make two pumpkin pies and they were very good I thought.  So maybe there is hope for me yet.

Not much at all to do outside now.   We are into the cold air now, and sometime soon, we will get snow, a blizzard or icy crap to make you stay in and enjoy the inside and eat yourself silly.  I am glad I am picking up my quilting.  Its just taking me a little while to remember things and how to use tools and the rulers.  I have a small stash of fabric I have collected for several years now, knowing that I would start to quilt at sometime.  It is now. As I am typing this to finish, a whole bunch of tumbleweeds are flying across the yard from the pasture to the west of me.  The wind is out of the north/northwest and some of the weeds are huge.  We had some bad winds the last few weeks, and some of those tumbleweeds were over 5 feet tall and wide. Just huge. They are the pits to handle.  They are prickly and bite-y. So you have to handle them with heavy gloves and then get out the big tree nippers and cut them up to place into the yard waste containers.  They are nasty weeds.

Well, I think that I have posted enough. I have some beef in the crockpot going, and I am having beef and noodles tonight.  I like the crockpot as you don't have to babysit the cooking.  My kind of cooking.
I wish everyone a wonderful rest of the week, and a peaceful weekend. Enjoy!

Love and Hugs

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Holiday Wishes

Good Morning Everyone,

I would just like to wish my US blog readers a most wonderful and peaceful Thanksgiving Holiday season. To my around the world readers, I wish a peaceful and wonderful upcoming weekend.
I am composing a post to the recent goings-on that has filled my weeks with stress and some accomplishment.  Until then, Happy Thanksgiving Holiday.
Hugs and Love to All

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Back from the Dead (Walking Dead, that is)

Just a very quick pop-in.  I am still here, have had many trials, tribulations, and nerve-wracking moments, but I AM still here.

I have an appointment with the attorney tomorrow at 10 AM, and I will find out if we are in the closing moments of this draining, emotional element with my parents.  My next emotional moment will be December 10th, as I go to court to petition the court for guardianship/conservator over both parents.  It has been a hell of a rodeo, and in the mean time, dealing with both parents and their emotional problems and needs. 
I will compose more over the weekend and keep you posted. 

Thank you for all of your understanding, and thoughts, prayers, karma, comments.  I will touch base later.
Hugs to All

Saturday, September 21, 2013

update info on flooding

Good Morning Everyone,
Sept 20th.
I checked the flood marker at the bridge where it goes into the main part of the community off of the I-80 corridor and its at 5.69 ft as of 7 am this morning.  It will start arriving later this morning and be a full river by lunch time.  The care center where my dad is, is on stand-by to evacuate the residence to the church in the event the water starts crawling up the bank of the river.  I was going into town early this morning as I just looked that I was out of canning jar lids and so its a mad dash to get some and check my mom and then a mad dash home again.  I was going to try to get some photos, but I think that everything will be blocked off and too much traffic will be going on, so I will wait to see if I can get something later, if we are not all doing the back stroke or as Max in Colorado told me, paddling on a surfboard.
I just want to thank all of you for prayers, support and just being here, its wonderful knowing that people from all over the world share in what goes on in your little part of the world.

Update 9-21

We are all ok and the river is somewhat within its banks.   I just checked NOAA's web site and at noon (its 12:45 pm now, it was 13.83 ft.  They are possibly looking at a record of 14 ft at its crest.  Everything is holding though, and my dad is still at the care center on stand-by to evacuate.  I will blog later in the weekend and let you know what went on, but we are all ok, and the bridges are holding, and sewer drains are holding.
Thank you for all of your thoughts, prayers.  I send thoughts, prayers to the folks to the west of me in Colorado. 
I will try to get some photos if I can get somewhat close to the bridge.  There are a lot of people out my way, oogling over what is going on.  The traffic is horrid, so I think I may wait until next week to catch some photos.  We will continue to have high water for the week.
I will try to have a better post hopefully Sunday. Until then, love and hugs to all.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Checking in

Good Morning,

I am up, checking in on the NOAA web site about the flood waters coming down the pike from Colorado.  We should start seeing water rise this morning sometime.

I went yesterday and before going home, stopped and took photos of the South Platte river, as best as I could.  We have a bridge that spans the river to the west of my home, this is Buffalo Bill Avenue.  This particular bridge is what the city is worried about as it has never been in a flood before, it was built about two years ago, and this will be a test to see if it holds up, big question.
The city is talking of shutting down this road.  As you can see by the photos, if you can, that this  river will be full when the water starts coming down, it will possibly crest at 13.5 ft or 14 ft. They are just not sure.  We are just holding on that the water will not pass the I-80 corridor which is the interstate that crosses the state. The interstate is north of me.  I was trying to take some photos of the interstate yesterday, but there were several cops, state patrol and I got the "don't stop" look and so moved on.  I am surprised that I was able to get over the river bridge to get photos.

I assure you that this will be full by Friday morning.  I stopped by the care center to see what was in place for the residences  there, including my dad, they are on the plan to move residents to a large church close to my parents home and they will be placed there.  I have to go in the morning and pack a small bag for my dad of clothing and other needs and they will start transporting maybe Friday sometime.  They are just not sure.  I have to stand by to see if my mom will be ok, also, as their home is just down from the care center.  Its just a wait and see, but I am sure if the water even shows anything, everyone will be moved.  I have to see how it will be for us, to see if the water starts to cross the interstate, and then if they start blocking roads, I have no way to get to the folks.  The care center is right next to the river, but it is up higher, but still something you do not wait around and wait and see attitude.
This will be a nerve wracking weekend.  We have had flooding, several years ago, but it was the North Platte river, which is north of us.  This time, its the South Platte, and lots of business is located south.  Again, its a wait and see and then rush like mad to get moved to higher ground.  The city should of been working on this the next day after the news of the Colorado flooding.  I love the fact of the government being the last to do anything to help prepare.  Sandbags could of started being made available to people to start working on this, and now, many of the small towns and villages are not ready.  On our local news, the small towns are just starting Tuesday night and Wednesday sand bagging around their communities.  Way to go.

I will post as I can, and keep up to date the best as I can.  Until then,  I am still here, and am praying.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Preparing for flood waters

Good Morning Everyone,

I am sorry for the huge gap in posting but I am sure everyone knows about what is going on here with my life and the parents and just general everyday going-on's.

I first want to post that we may be getting the deluge of rain that Colorado has gotten, and it will come by way of the South Platte river which is north of me and we also have another river to the north of town called "North Platte" river which comes out of Wyoming and the two rivers meet just to the east of town to fully form the South Platte river system. The community sits right between both of them, (thank you Union Pacific railroad for planning this when you built the railroad through here).   We have been watching very closely, what is going on and  may have to make plans about moving or evacuate.  I hope not, but we do not know.  I know, I just moved and this comes up. I am also concerned as my dad's care center is right next to the South Platte river and they may move the residents somewhere else.  I would not want to move my dad with his ill tempered attitude.

I have just left the Eco Cat Lady's blog, she is on my blog list, and she is ok, which I am very happy about.  I wasn't sure where she was at in Colorado, so she is ok.  But she mentioned to me in comments that Ft Morgan, which is located somewhat east/north east of Denver, that it is flooding at the moment and Ft Morgan is about 3 hours from me, so we'll just keep an eye on things and hope for the best and plan for the worst. I will keep you posted what is going on.

Other that hoping that we will not get our feet wet, or do the back stroke, not much is going on. I have been canning, and making salsa, and just putting up the tomatoes that are finally turning.  I know by the end of September, the plants will be done for, they are already turning brown and sad looking on the bottoms.  We also had a small hail storm about two weeks ago, and we had golf ball sized hail and that did not help either, though they rode  through it pretty well, the plants did get pounded into the ground some.  This was not a good year for tomatoes around here, though they did ok and taste really good, I am going to plant different varieties since I have a garage where I can put up my greenhouse and lights and heat mats and start better plants that way.  What I planted this year was just what I could find because we were moving at that moment in time,  many people planted gardens and then it got very cold and wet for Spring, and then had to re-start gardens and there just was not any plants left anywhere in the town at any  place, including Wally, so it was just whatever you could get your hands on. Hopefully next year, I will plan a better garden, since I just threw in willy-nilly what ever I could get in the ground, which is not the way to garden if you want something to grow, though, willy-nilly sometimes works too!

I just placed a couple of small pork tenderloins in the little crock pot, with some new potatoes, and some green beans that I froze earlier this summer for supper.  Its been hard to do meals with all that is going on with parent duty, I swear now that they have reverted back to being young, around 12-15 years old now.  My dad is totally being a butt now, and demands to be home, his doctor has called me several times in the last few weeks to inform me that as he sees his medical info from the care center, that is not going to happen.
He is losing weight by several pounds a week, he's very frail and  he is a terrible eater, he has tantrums, he is a very high risk fall victim and just will not behave in any way, shape or form.  My mother just cannot handle him, and she is bad enough for me to handle as it is now.  I am just so saddened to see both of them basically melt away into nothing.  I am waiting for the doctor's report sometime this week to see if my dad is considered incompetent to make decisions and if so, I will be proceeding on with guardianship of him for now, and mother, later.  D will go with dad on Tuesday to this particular doctor appointment as an extra ear, the doctor did not want me there as he felt it would be a threat to dad that I was doing bad things to him, which I am not, but he just cannot think anymore about anything with common sense.  He thinks that he can go right back to driving, and behaving just as before, and he has even forgotten that he broke his hip, and was even home for those three weeks before he did break the hip, so this is was I am battling now.Onward and upward.

Well,  I smell the supper in the office, and I had better get off my fanny and put the potatoes on and get the beans ready.  Its nice when you have some appliances that help cook dinner and you do not have to stand over the stove and watch. 
I will keep posted on the flooding and water watch.  I have been buzzing around to see if I can find anything on the web for flood water in our state.  My state is not too good at warnings until its almost up on your heels, so I prefer to be alert on my own thank you very much.  Remember Katrina, the gov will not be there for you.

Have a wonderful week to all.
Love and Hugs

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Started on August 13th.

Good Late Morning Everyone,

Yahoo,  I have some tomatoes starting to turn red.  I can't believe it.  I almost turned a few handsprings out in the yard, (if I could), if I did, the neighbors I am sure would turn me in as a lunatic, not that I already am.
I got a small handful of cherry tomatoes and the large ones are getting there.  I am not sure if  *all* of the tomatoes will ripen or not, if not, I will just have to pull them and let them ripen on their own in the garage. I am going to try to find a recipe for green tomato relish, anyone have something they would like to share.  A sweet and maybe a savory recipe for this?

Well, yesterday ( Monday, 12th)  was D-Day for my mom.  She started to go into bender late in the afternoon.  She called their doctor's office and proceeded to chew out the staff, then she called the nursing home where my dad is and proceeded to chew on them that they are holding my dad hostage and that she demands he be let out.  The nursing home staff called me and gave me tips on how to get her to the hospital ER, the easy way and the hard way.  Since I have both medical POA on both, I can forcefully make her go, but I did not want to do it that way if at all possible.  So D and I went over to the house, and D handled mom.  She works a little better for him than me on stressful situations, and finally D got her in the car and we went over to ER and there she got some medical attention, and ER did a CT scan and came up with the dementia diagnosis, and she also had a urinary infection, which the ER doctor told me can cause some confusion also.  Since mom doesn't really understand some things, she just did not understand to tell me she had issues with urinary things.  So, this afternoon, D will take mom to the primary care doctor and I will follow to stay out of the way, somewhat, as she is pee-d off at me anyway, but personally, I don't care.  I will also be getting in touch with Home Health and between the doctor and myself, I will get home health involved and maybe a little more relief in caring and checking in on her.  Boy, what a stressful situation, both for her and D and I.  She was just in tears, sobbing like a baby that she had to go, and that I was putting her away in the nursing home, like dad, which I wasn't.  D told her that she needed to see the doctor, that she was not behaving like normal, and that it just had to be done, but that he preferred that she go in the car, and not by the ambulance, which would of been the hard way, and possibly being medicated to calm her down, and NO, we were not taking her to a care facility.   So, it went fairly well, and then after about 3 hours, we got her back home, with orders from ER that things be taken care of, if not, she would be admitted into a facility for care, no ifs, ands or buts.
So yesterday was an adventure and today, I am trying to finish up things that I was trying to complete, like canning some cucumbers.  So I am hoping maybe Wednesday, I can complete this little chore.

Monday, August 19th.
Good Morning Everyone,

Well, we got mom to the PC doctor late Monday afternoon the 12th.   He has started her on Nememda XR for the Dementia.  As of Friday, the 16th,  D and I have seen a huge difference in her mood and ability.  She is much more engaged in what is going on, and is much better.  Between the antibiotic and the Nemenda XR, it has made her more of her old self.  I know though, that this is just temporary, and is no cure, but for now, she is "mom, and I am pleased with what I am seeing. Update: As of Tuesday the 20th, she is doing very well on this medication and we are just about through the first week. This med is a type that you increase the dose every week until you see if the patient can handle the highest dose. I hope that this continues at least for a little while. But I do have my "mom" back somewhat like normal.

I met with an attorney who specializes in elderly family law and medicaid applications for elder waivers.  He is going to try to re-start the process that I started late April of this year and see if he can get past the three headed dog that works this application process at the state office here in town.  He knows her, and has worked with her, so I am going to gladly pay him to get my parents signed up for waivers and nursing home care for dad.  This is all I can do.  I cannot do any more or have the strength to fight the battles they have coming up.  I am hoping that this attorney can handle the problems.  He was referred to me by the Alzheimer's support group,.  Many in the support group have used him, as he stays up on elderly care and the law issues and also this Obamacare crap.  Like I have mentioned before, the Obamacare thing is a train wreck as he put it also, and no ones even knows what is going on or what will happen.  Nice to know that we have something that no one even has an idea of what kind of monster we have.  This is truly the enemy at the gate......just one of many enemies.

On the garden front, I have a few tomatoes, so for now, we have just been having them with supper, and cut up a few to put in some of my salsa.  I just may have to freeze them as they come and do salsas and sauces later.  They are going to be late, and just a few at a time. My Cayenne peppers are doing wonderful and I am drying them at the moment. My Ancho peppers are getting there too.  Its just going to be a late year.

I am also getting my pantry set up again.  I have not done anything since we moved.  It was a mad house with everything going on.  We have been using up what I have in pantry storage and now I need to replenish it.  It saved us for a long time.  But its time to re-stock and get ready for winter and what ever else comes along.  Again, I do not beat around the bush about knowing that something is coming down the pike, a change in the wind, a storm coming, and I want to be as ready as I can be.  I have ordered meat from the locker where we get our meat from, and I ordered some beef shanks so I can do my dehydrated broths.  I am going to try something different and see if I am more successful this time around.  I cannot believe the price of bouillons in the grocery.  So I am going to attempt to try it again, since I have more room and can work better. I will keep posted on this subject.

As of today, things have been very quiet.  I went in town late this afternoon to pick up a few things, and then stop and see my mom and then to the care facility to see dad.  He was doing I thought very well.  He wants to get home, but like I talked to him, there are a lot of "ifs" in the equation and that I could not make any promises period.  I have explained to him about the attorney and the medicaid elder waiver and he thought that he understood what I was doing.  I just told he to please keep up with the physical therapy, and just try to eat and get stronger, and I left it at that.

I got a lot done this morning.  Cleaned the cat's bungalow, and made fresh boxes, and mopped the floor and vacuumed the flooring.  Its going to get hot here for most of the week and so I am back to running the a/c and the fans more.  I have a temp gauge in their house to keep track of temps.  Usually they go outside anyway and lay in the grass and chase bugs and grasshoppers.  Washed their bedding Sunday afternoon.  I usually take that to a Laundromat and wash everything in one of the big rug washers and it does a great job and then dry and then home.

OK Sharon, I am getting ready to tackle a quilt.  I found a pattern or really several and am going to attempt to do a queen size.  I found out from my facebook, that a nephew got married suddenly and did not notify anyone, and now I have a niece in law to do a quilt for.
From what I know of her preferences for color is she is a free spirit, and loves COLOR, bold and bright, so I have an idea to just do a block in half triangles with a small border and go from there.  I may email you Sharon, but I think I can do it.  Where I will have the problems is with a binding, I am not sure how to do that. I have forgotten so much since the shop we had that its scary.  I just hope I can do it and not put my foot in my mouth.....

Well, I have written a book, so it seems.  Just not too much going on, which is wonderful as its quiet at the moment and I am relishing in the moment.  I have been keeping up with everyone and it just seems that everyone is in the dog days of summer, either canning or doing late gardening or just getting by.  Its about all we can do. I just hope that everyone has a wonderful week and take care.


Thursday, August 8, 2013

Good Afternoon Everyone,

No title, just a hit and miss post.
Absolutely nothing to really write about.  I am still washing linens.  I will try real hard to post some photos of some nice linens I have.  It takes time to wash these things, dry and then find a place to place them so they stay clean, and nice. I will also give some a starching, which we can still get around here also besides the bluing.   I have not ironed most of them.  I will save the table linens for last as these will be ironed and put away in the buffet.  I will time this for Fall.  I will have more time to hang and stand and iron, right now, I do not feel like standing at an ironing board.  Call it lazy......

At the moment, between trying to take care of my home, D and I are trying to handle things at my parent's home.  A few weeks ago, we had a bad storm and where they live, they had over 100+ mph winds tear through that part of town.  Me, personally, I think that a small tornado went through from the damage to all of the trees, but what do I know.  Anyway, we have to fix the patio roof, and so we have been looking into cost and or just seeing if we can just do something temporary until next spring.  My mother's old neighbor passed away Monday morning, and my mom is having an emotional upheaval, so I have been trying to calm her down and I guess just let her deal with it.  I can do no more.

We are also selling a car that is in their  garage that is just taking up space.  Its my Grandparents car, an old Catalina, and its going as of Saturday.  Then the garage will have room for my parents car, which at the moment, I am driving.  I will not drive this during the winter, so it will have a space under cover.  I am trying to take care of some things that my dad just would not do, or just didn't care to do.  Before his stroke, he was getting owly and difficult and did not want to do anything, but just wanted to whine.  I now see this as a precursor to his dementia and possible pre-stroke symptoms.  I am learning things almost daily of little things that were coming up.  He is now very mad at me, and is showing his dementia more each day.  He has Sun-downer's syndrome and by afternoon, he is a total pee-head, so I just do not go to see him in the afternoon, at all.  You cannot talk or reason, so I do not go.  I do not need to be upset and I am doing more for myself and making distance for my own sanity.

On the garden front, still no tomatoes. This is the norm all over the area.  At farmer's market Saturday, all I heard from the vendors is that no one has tomatoes, period.  They are very late, from a cold, damp spring, and no being able to get into the gardens. Even vendors who have greenhouses do not have tomatoes yet.
 Everyone that  is  going to the market is upset because of no tomatoes.  You cannot explain anything to stupid people, no matter how you slice it.  I could not believe what I was hearing from people, as the vendors were trying to explain the possible reasons as to late tomatoes, but people were just plain stupid, I have no other word for it.  This shows just how disconnected we are from our food and nature, and that nothing is this world can be taken for granted.

I am starting to look for a small work table for my sewing room.  I just need a small table so I can put my sewing machine on it and have some room for cutting.  My sewing room is also the pantry as I just do not have room for anything in the kitchen.  Yep, here we go, no room in the kitchen.  I do not have pantry space so we just placed my pantry shelves in the office and it works.  I am so hoping that I can get some quilting in this fall and winter.  I have been going to the thrift shops as time permits and look for cotton shirts and men's shirts that can be cut up.  When I go, its my time out away from everyone to take a break, and I do love looking for little bits and pieces of fabric for my stash.  I even found some cotton shirts of D's that I cut up for the pile. They were too small, but they were shirting material, and one was a chambray which is almost impossible to find around here, and they are stashed in my storage containers just waiting to be cut and put into something.  I can hardly wait till it gets cooler.

Well, from looking at the clock, I had better get something done today.  Its humid outside and I have got several chores that just have to be done.  D went to get the lawn tractor blades sharpened and he was going to stop by to see how my dad was, and to give me a break.
I wish everyone a wonderful rest of the week and a wonderful weekend in what ever you plan to do.


Thursday, August 1, 2013

Cool, delightful and some rain

Well, good afternoon everyone,
Well its *almost* afternoon anyway, for me.

The last few days, starting last Thursday, it was so nice and cool, in the low 70's F, with the night time temps into the low 50's F.  It was so nice to shut off the A/C, and open the windows.  I was even able to shut off the cat bungalow A/C and open their window and put in the window fan.
Tuesday night, we had a somewhat nasty thunderstorm roll through, it was a nasty looking cloud, dark green/grey, and we has 70+ mph wind roll through.  We got over an inch and a half of rain, which we needed so badly.  This morning, we are getting drizzle/light rain and its cool, but humid for my taste.  I hate the humidity, it makes me drained in energy and I sweat buckets, but I like the cool air.

My garden is doing very well.  Still no tomatoes as of yet.  They are very, very late.  They are nice sized, but not turning.  I am getting very nice cucumbers, and squash, but I got bugs and so I am just going to enjoy the squash until the bugs get the best of the plants and then I will pull them.  I have wonderful Cayenne peppers but they are not turning red yet either.  I am going to dry these and have Cayenne pepper powder for the year.  Everything is slow, late but doing well.  I am going to make a trip to the farmers market this Saturday and pick up some things, like green beans, and maybe a few tomatoes until mine decide to do something.  I make cucumbers and onions in a creamy Italian/dill dressing.  It smells Divine but I have not eaten it yet.  I am going to fix chicken breasts tonight and have these cucumbers for salad.  All I do for the dressing is get a package of the Good Seasons Italian dressing mix, some mayo, and dill weed or seed, put in a glass bowl, and mix the dressing mix with a little vinegar, and put in the mayo, and fix to your taste.  I let it sit overnight to develop the flavor and then serve.  I usually cover it as the smell of vinegar gets into the frig, but its good.  I also like to use a raspberry vinaigrette also. I made enchalidas last night for supper, they were awesome, and I make extras to freeze and have later.  I am going to wrap these up later this afternoon and get them put away.

Everything is quiet on the homefront.  I have had very little issues this week.  So I will take this as it comes and hope that it does stay quiet for a while at least.
Other than that, its been delightful.  I have gotten a few things done, still more to do.  I am currently trying to wash, dry and iron a lot of linens and hand embroidered items of my g-grandmothers, grandmothers, and mom's.  I am washing, and bleaching some items, and hanging them to dry on the line, then I am ironing some.  They have been put away for a long time, and are yellowed but they have come clean and bright.  Some items, I used the good old fashioned blueing that we still can find around here.  I soak some items in it and everything is white and bright.  My grandmother swore by it for white sheets and pillowcases.  All this will take time, but I am getting down the pile.
Well, I had better go.  Not too much to inject at the moment.  I am just basking in the quiet and peacefulness at the moment.
I wish everyone a wonderful rest of the week, a wonderful weekend.

Love and Hugs to All

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Added some photos

Good Evening Everyone,

D just found my USB cable and I have been adding some photos to the blog.  Pretty soon, I will change the look and do something different.  I want to add more kitty photos and such, but for now, I posted the house and the garden and the cat's house, yes, I said cat's house.  The cat's have their OWN house, complete with outdoor run, and A/C, with a three level sleeping shelves and vinyl flooring to keep clean. I told D when he got done with the cat kennel, that I wanted to stay there.... (rolling eyes)*

I am going to try to get back to my blog and blogging, and not the negative.  I started going to  a support group for families that are caregivers for dementia and Alzheimer's patients and nursing home residents.  I was nervous to go to this group, number one, I am somewhat a solitary creature and have some social anxiety . But when I got there, I was welcome, and the founder of the group, a woman who started this group clear back in 1979, when no one knew what Alzheimer's was, even the doctor's.  This group helps give you ideas to cope, and how to handle the patient and the caregiver.  I will see how this goes.  This group meets every 2nd and 4th Mondays each month.  I will try to get to each meeting.   I will post how it goes.

I just want to take time to thank all of you for your support through this very difficult time in my life.  It has been a rough rodeo, and I am not done yet, but I was told by my support group to get on with my life, and pick up what I was doing and make time for me and me alone, no matter who gets mad or what.  It is something that has to be done.  So I will be changing the blog, so please bear with me when I start changing it and hope that I do not eject the blog into the purgatory of blogs.  I so want to get back to what I want to do, and I do not want to lose what people I have to a crappy, sad, negative blog.  So, onward and upward and changes are in the wind soon.

I will close for now and get ready to rest and get some sleep, the last few nights have been rough, and we have had some thunderstorms that have been rough and noisy and not much sleep and a lot of stress.  I will try to work on the blog and update it so it looks better.

Love and Hugs to All

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

When it rains, it pours

Good Afternoon Everyone,
I start this post Sat, July 6th.

Well, it has been a roller coaster here. Its not getting better, either which way it goes.  I hate it when this is all that goes on, just a repeat of yesterday, like the movie, "Groundhog Day".
My Dad did a stupid, and I mean stupid thing on the 4th of July.  He went out in the yard to try to water something in the front flowerbed, and his left leg, the weak one, got tangled up in the hose and he went down and broke the top of his hip bone.  I am just furious, and my mother is flipping out as usual.
The Orthopedic surgeon did surgery yesterday afternoon and pinned the hip and ran a rod down into the leg to the knee to stabilize it.  I went this morning to see him, he is dazed, and somewhat out of it.
I have no idea what to do now.  I have started proceedings for  his veteran benefits.  I am angry that this was not done years ago.  But I cannot change things now.  When I went up to the hospital, I took the chance for him to sign these papers to start his VA nursing home application.  I wanted it signed, as if something happens, these papers are signed, and maybe I can get benefits for mom.  I am not sure, as the VA is being cut, but I am going to try.

So, its not been very good at all, and to top it all off, D and I just have come home from the vet's office this afternoon,  as I had to put one of my young cats to sleep.  She got sick last week, and did not recover, and had a terrible fever of over 105* which is bad, and we had blood work done, and she tested positive for Leukemia, and would not make a recovery.  D is very upset, I am upset, and I cannot make any more decisions anymore for a while.  I know next week, I have to make decisions, but at the moment I cannot do anymore.  I am tapped out.

I do not think that anything will end.  It just gets worse each and every day.  The stress is unbelievable, and I cannot catch a break.  My Dad was getting bull headed and would not listen to me, or anyone, he just thought that he could go do what he used to do and now he has put me in a terrible position, something that I just do not think that I can do.  He did not even think of what strain it would be and now, its just terrible.  I am so angry, so very angry of the stress that this is put upon me.  My mom is being loopy now, and is giving me problems as to what is going on and I am waiting for the shoe to drop on her.  I have tried to get help, but I cannot, its just a mess, and with all of this Obama care crap, this medical system is totally busted, and I am not kidding when I say that.  No one knows what will go on, no one knows what will happen.  That is where its at, at the present time.

I so want to work on my house.  I have not been able to even do much at my home, as I am running after my parents even more now , and now, more paperwork and some how find it to put Dad in the VA home in Grand Island, which is 140 miles away.
I am shocked that my garden is doing very well.  The one thing that IS doing OK.  It will be a very late garden, but it is growing and looking very good.
D ended up buying a used John Deere lawn tractor.  The lawn here is much larger than what I had at the trailer.  It would take 3 hours to mow with the lawn mower, and now with this JD, it takes just a little over an hour now.  And we are not totally pooped out when we mow.  I am still learning how to drive it and handle it, but I need to gain my confidence, which right now, I do not have much of, considering what has been going on.

I am looking back at my blogging, and for the last 6 months, its been totally caca, (sh*t).  I am so sad, angry that I cannot blog about anything else but bad things.  Does any of this ever go away.  Does anything ever get better?  I question anything anymore, as no one at this point in time can tell me anything, or even help.

July 10th
Have Dad back into the original care center he was at.  He is so very sorry for what he has done, and I just cannot have the nerve to chew on him.  It does not make anything better, only worse.  I just told him last night when I went to see him that he needs to quit feeling sorry for himself and that he needs to get going and heal and get better.  It does no good to moop around. So I told him that if he wants to get home again, he needs to do his physical therapy and continue like he did before when he had his strokes, and he did well, so he needs to do it again.  He only has 24 days of nursing home care here, from Medicare, and then I have to send him to the Grand Island VA care center to finish out his physical therapy.  I have to go this afternoon and pick up papers from his PC physician and then get them over to the VA central office to send in.  I am switching over to the VA medical system for both Mom and him.  I may get better results than I have been getting.  I am not sure of what cuts have been made but I am going to try anyway.  I have no other choices in the matter.  As I have mentioned, the new Obamacare system is totally a train wreck and no one knows what is going on, what will happen or how much.  Nothing can be figured out and there are so many rules and regulations that no one can keep track of it.  It is truly a train wreck now.

Now, a little bit of good news, my garden produced my first Zucchini and yellow squash.  I am going to fix them with dinner tonight.  I am starting to see small tomatoes, and some very tiny cucumbers also. Its just been a total bummer of a summer, if I say so myself.  I am trying to see the positive and bright side. D added a bed just to the west of my raised garden bed for my Strawberry plants and then the other side will be my herb bed.  The herbs will be hopefully on next years agenda, definitely not this year. I have to thin out my Walking onions in the ghetto buckets.  The buckets are getting thin and brittle and I need to place them somewhere this fall.  I am getting rolled eyes as to having another raised bed done, but it would be nice, as next year I am hoping for a calmer beginning, can't say I will have but I am hoping.

Well,  I am going to try again to have better news, and more things to tell as to what we are doing at the new home.  Still have not heard from the moron owner, and so it is just left until something comes up or contact is made.
We have been adding shelving to the garage to put my canning supplies up and out of the road. I have three shelves up now, that are eight feet long, and its holding all of my canners and  my dehydrating supplies up now.  Its nice as you can get around a little now.  I still have bags and boxes to go through.  I am going through clothing and have a box set up for the thrift shop, and then the trash.  I am just closing my eyes and throwing now.
Sometime later, I am going to have our heat/air guy come out and give me a quote to run a gas line to the garage for the gas stove so I can do my canning in the garage.  The gas line is close to the garage and possibly can be run under the house to the garage.  It would be nice as I would not heat up the house in summer.  Another "we will see" projects.

Well, I think that I have probably ruined the day, but I am still here, still hanging on, and still trying to be positive.  I am hoping it will quiet down, and I can start to heal my soul and slow down.
Until the next blog post, all of you please take care, enjoy the time and the day, and have a wonderful upcoming weekend.

Love and Hugs


Saturday, June 22, 2013

Good Morning Everyone,

This morning, as I sit in my office/sewing room overlooking the pasture to the west, having a cup of tea, and trying to get my bearings to start the day, I had the wonderful pleasure to see a deer, a doe, trot just behind the house.  She was heading toward I-80 to the north of me, which I am just a half mile away.  Then, something startled her, and she bounced back to the south on a dead run. We do have roads to the south and north, and deer get hit on these roads as well as I-80.  The deer are very thick around here.  But hopefully, she got across the road and did not encounter a car or truck...this time.

It has been busy here, and stressful, same crap, different day now.  I am now trying to get through boxes, and put things away, sorting through things again, and either throwing away, or donating.  I have not been able to get too much done.  My parents have been a pain, this last week.  My dad, decided that he wanted the keys to the car and that he was going to start driving, he told me yesterday.  I went to run a few errands and dropped off the errands to their house, and he immediately jumped in my face about him driving himself around.  I blew my top and told he he could not, that his drivers license has been suspended
because he has had three strokes, and he cannot even see over the steering wheel, he is so crippled over and his body collapsed down.  He was mad as I confronted him and that I was not going to tell him what to do, and I told him that if he even thought about getting in the car, that I would have him stopped and then he would be finished.  He is not speaking to me, which I really don't care at all.  Too bad, so sad.
I had to really get crappy with them yesterday, and I told them that if this is the way that they would like to act that I would be making decisions to place them in assisted living and sell the house.  If they wanted to have someone treat them like juveniles then, I would do so.  They sort of quieted down and I have not heard anything more out of them

I feel like I am going mad, and I am now in the resentment stage of the game.  I have requested help from the VA office, and this is in the works.  I am asking for respite care also, so I can have a break. At this point in the game, I am at this moment, truly sorry for everything that I have done for them, both medically and physically.  I am exhausted, both mentally and physically and to try to find help here is almost impossible.  We just do not have resources.  We do, but most is only available to people who have lots of money and can pay for services. People like me just are not given options.  I am hoping that the VA will be able to help me a little, especially with the medications.  One of dad's med is $274, and D had to pay for that the last time, as this was the co-pay on the med.  Its one that dad has to have.  Its the stroke med and it is needed.

This sky yesterday morning  turned a very sickening yellow/orange color yesterday.  It is from the fires in Colorado, and it was almost apocalyptic in its looks.  Yesterday, when I called the home health nurse about dad, she told me that yesterday morning, when the sky turned the colors it did, that all of the sudden, patients who her caregivers were taking care of, suddenly started acting funny, like dad, and that they were having problems with a number of clients.  This morning, the sky is turning the same color....I hope I do not have a repeat of yesterday with my parents.

My garden is growing now.  I shudder when we have storms roll through, since they have hail in them.  If it gets hailed out, I am not going to garden this year at all.  I will just go to farmers market and leave it at that. 
I am getting ready to go to get my food paks that I purchase from Prairieland foods.  This is my savings for groceries and I have been pleased with their products.  Earlier this week, I fixed a huge chicken breast that I purchased from Prairieland and it was just awesome.  These breasts were huge.  They looked like turkey breasts, but they baked up so good, and I did not need to baste them at all.  I put this one in a roaster and left it to bake most of the day, and it was just delicious.  It makes awesome sandwiches also. 

Well, I need to get ready to go and get my grocery paks. Then hopefully home, and get to unloading some boxes today.  I hope that I do not have any issues so I can get some work done.  Hopefully.....
I wish everyone a wonderful, peaceful weekend.

Hugs and Love

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Good Evening Everyone,

Started June 1
Well,  D and I got home from working on the old trailer.  We are in the process of painting and doing some light repairs.  I know everyone has asked why we are fixing and painting, long story short, my attorney felt it was somewhat necessary to elevate any problems with the moron owner, and we felt that since we had lived there, it needed to be fixed.  Some people came by this afternoon, looking at several trailers that are now empty in the park, and they stopped by our trailer, and asked if it was available, and I told them yes, and we showed them what we were doing.  They liked the trailer and went back to speak with the morons, but I do not know if they got it or not.  I paid another half month's rent so we could finish by the 15th of this month.  We just cannot move and do things like we used to, and at the end of the day, between working at the old place and running after my parents, I am beat, and tired. Update: Carpet will be laid on Tuesday, the 11th.  I will send keys to the morons on Wednesday by certified letter and be done with it.

I am not sure of my parents situation at the moment.  My Dad is supposed to be released June 10th back home.  I have to go and see our local Area on the Aging, to see if I can locate someone who comes in and does light cooking duties, like I used to do.  I just cannot do any cooking and handling the demands that they want and need.  I will have Home Health come in with a nurse to check on Dad, I will just have to see how this goes.  They are just so very demanding of my time, and I am in a position that I cannot stretch myself anymore with my life and theirs.  They have become so very clingy now, and they are ill-tempered between themselves, Mom is ok on some days, but yesterday, she had a melt down on me and said that she did not want Dad, home, and that she was not going to live like that.  She has to have these meltdowns on me when I am exhausted and tired, and then I become ill tempered and the fight is on.  I just cannot get answers, or help, and I am not feeling well.  I am hoping that when we get done with the trailer, things will be better since we will not be running around all the time.  I do know that I will have to set boundary lines up, as if not, I will be spending my whole summer, and my life, running for them. Update:  Since the trailer is done and we are done moving, things have calmed down somewhat.

The weather here has been weird.  I still do not have my garden in.  Its been very chilly at night here, and I just have not had time either.  I am going to try to set in my plants Sunday, and cover them with greenhouse plastic, and hope for the best.  I have tried to start cucumbers and lost some due to the chilly air.  I have a heat mat, but they fall over and die after a few days.  The area nurseries we have around here have had nothing left for the garden season.  It was picked over because of the weather and there is nothing left but crap, which I just will not buy.  I have not even looked at plants for color for the house.  I guess I am just not in the mood, because of everything that has been going on, too much stress and little time to enjoy anything.   I am planning on taking Sunday off from working at the trailer to go grocery shopping and look for some ornamental plants for some pots here at my house, and maybe a few for the folks, and that's about it.  I do not have time to go and water their yard and my yard at the same time. Update- I just put in some of my garden tomatoes and peppers Monday night.  Really late isn't it?  I am going to cover them with greenhouse plastic for a while until this weather gets out of its bi-polar mood.  Its worse than my mother's mood! I am afraid that this years garden will be nothing great or perfect.  My raised garden bed is 13 feet by 16.5 feet. We have to go and get chicken wire fencing to keep the rabbits out or that will be gone too.

I have been trying to read every one's blogs to keep up with all of you.  I miss blogging, which is one of my stress breakers.  I have been getting back into the habit of having my tea or coffee in the morning and visiting all of you and see what is going on in your world.  It sure helps me to break the stress, it really does.

June 5th.
Well, I'm still trying to put a post together.  It was a little calmer today, I took my mom to my hairdresser, to get her hair done.  I thought I would have a meltdown with her, as she got out of the car and then balked going in. My hairdresser is very kind and came out and talked to mom and coaxed her in, telling her she needed her hair done, and was gentle with her and we finally got her in.. She is getting house bound and is difficult to take out.  When we got done, I drove her out to the new house, and she just did not know where we were at, and did not know much of anything.  Very sad.

I am hoping to go shopping sometime this week, I need to get a new USB cable,  I cannot find my old one.  I have a reader suggest plugging in with something else, but I have a cheap camera and I cannot do that with this el cheapo.  I am hoping that I will get a better camera this fall.  Maybe.....

The trees we transplanted from the old trailer to the new house are doing well, except the ornamental pear, unfortunately, when we dug it up, some of the roots were cut, and it is struggling to snap out of its shock.  D got some liquid hormone and B-12 stuff that you mix in water.  I am giving this to the tree twice a week.  It is very concentrated stuff.  One tiny bottle about 1 oz makes 100 gallons.  It has really helps everything else.  My grape vine my neighbor gave me is snapping out of its shock, and my raspberry bushes are coming out as well.  The tree will be touch and go, and as I have said, I would rather it die here than at the moron's park as no one would take care of it anyway.  The nursery told us that it will be droopy most of the summer, and we'll have to see next spring how it has done.

Well, its 12:38 am here on Saturday morning.  I cannot sleep, and a small thunderstorm is coming in from the west.  Its lightening and thundering a little.  I have problems sleeping here yet.  I am just not used to the house or the area.  Its so quiet here and its spooky around here at night,  very little lights around except for yard lights from some of the homes.  I am very cautious when I have to let the dog out, as we have the typical night creatures roaming around.  We have a den of skunks in the pasture behind us, and as long as they do not get too close, we will be ok, but if they get close or have a sick one in the bunch, it will be gone.  We are having an early rabies season here, so I am just watching and hoping we do not have an encounter.

Well,  I had better get back to bed, or stay up and read a little, and then see if I can get back to sleep.  I have be so tired, that I cannot sleep.  It will get better, I hope soon.
I wish everyone a wonderful weekend, and take care.

Love and Hugs

Monday, May 20, 2013

Morning in the New Neighborhood

Good Morning Everyone,

Thursday, May 16th.

Well, I am at the computer in my sewing room/office this morning, where I look out over the pasture.  It is cloudy this morning, even had a tiny rain shower move over for a few minutes, just enough to make the sidewalks wet and as it heats up, will make the humidity go up today, and make some thunderstorms bloom up this afternoon.

We are still moving small stuff.  I have had some issues with my parents come up that required me to stop and take care of.  My Dad had a tiny stroke Friday night and he was released back into the care center Tuesday.  He has tiny strokes that have been explained to me as strokes going nowhere.  They hit, cause temporary paralysis for a few hours and then show no damage on MRI's.  I also am going to have my attorney on Friday, go and have them sign over for Power of Attorney, so I can take care of and handle both of their affairs.  My parents have not set anything up for me which makes me angry and has left them and me in a bad position.  I have been after them for several years to take care of things, but they never would.  Now, its time to pay the fiddler and things are in a state of chaos.  I am navigating the Social Services paperwork and the people you work with are humiliating and degrading.  I have already tangled with one woman who talked down to me as if I was a child and I blew her butt.  I told her I was not one of her druggie, clients who does not know what is going on. She just was not sure how to handle this as she told me she has never been talked to like that before, and I told her, "well, its about time you were".  I told her she lives in a sugar-coated world of the government and knows nothing of the outside world or how it works.  She backed off and that was the end of the conversation.  I am having the care center where my dad is, help me to submit paperwork on Friday because of her, so I do not have to put up with her insults.

I hired someone to mow and trim the folk's yard.  I just cannot handle two households, including lawns.  It is getting better as we are not running as much, but it will be better, once we are done moving, and then finishing the old trailer and painting and re-carpeting the place.  We just get very tired in the late afternoon, and we are not young anymore to do what we used to do.  It will get done though, and will be finished.

About a week and a half ago, we had tragedy at my folk's home with several of their kitties.  This broke my heart, but we found out that they had a rouge possum, a very large male kill two of their kitties.  This creature literally shredded their bodies and ate them.  I knew raccoons did this, but had never encounter a possum doing this, but I do remember that they get into chickens.   When we found the beautiful kitty they had by the garage, we knew we had a rouge something lurking around.  So I set my traps and the next morning caught the murderous possum.   We then loaded up this rouge and took it out and shot it.  It had developed the taste of pets and needed to be destroyed and it was.  Come to find out, the stupid neighbors next to my parents were feeding them as they thought they were cute, I blew their butts out and told them to never feed wild creatures as this is what happens.  They have a two year old and I told them that this big possum would of went after their kid, as it was sick and developed a no-fear toward people.  They are stupid young kids who are in the druggie world and just did not think that wild animals do such things.  Real smart, arent' they.

I will try to post photos but at the moment, I cannot find my USB cable.  Its in a box somewhere, (sound familiar), and when I do, I will post some photos.
Right at the moment, I cannot think of anything else. I will re post later.

Monday, May 20.

Its been raining since Saturday afternoon.  We had some rough thunderstorms roll through, some places around us got very large hail at over 2 inches in diameter.  I am glad we didn't get that, but the air was very chilly so you knew we had hailstorms around.  It dropped the temps quite a bit and it was in the 50's. The wind blew around 60 mph and then later in the night, we had several more storms roll through and the lightening is pretty close and sharp.  I was up and could not sleep, the animals were nervous about the storms and being in a new place, it makes me not sure and uneasy.

Where we are at now, its dark, as we do not have much street lighting.  The front has street lights but the back is pure country, with the open pasture and so when I take the dog out at night, I have a flash light and I don't stay out too long.  I know we have critters, its just you do not know where the critters are at. Funny thing  is, we had critters where we did live also, so its not different, but its just more dark out here than I am used to.  We are going to put up our motion detector lights up soon, and it will make it a little better.

I could not sleep, so I am working on this post.  It is currently raining again.  I mowed the grass in the front Sunday afternoon, but my city grass cart was totally full when I finished, so I have to get another grass cart for the back.  Bummer.  The yard we have is large and with the rain we have been getting, its growing, This year, not much is going to get done.  I would like another raised garden bed, but that is not in the plans this year.  I would like to put in some dwarf fruit trees, but again, not this year.
Its supposed to rain most of this week, so we are hoping to get what we can moved and work at the old place and get it ready.  We have a plumbing problem that has come up so that needs to be fixed.  My attorney that is handling the moron owner is going to request an extension and I will pay extra for the extension.  We have come across a few things that need to be taken care of, so I guess if moron wants his trailer rent ready, he'll have to put up with the extension.

I still cannot find my USB cable, its in a  box and I am still searching.  I have a few photos I would like to post. I hate this when you move and everything is in boxes, even though you mark the boxes of contents, you still cannot find anything.  I got my china buffet put back together, with all of the contents, and did not break anything, which shocked me.  I am now in the process of washing things, towels, linens, and putting everything away.  I have good linens that I need to wash, and iron and put away, but that will be later.

We got NetFlix added to the TV.  Generally I am not a TV fan, but I enjoy movies, westerns, and the action adventure movies, so we got that, and I do enjoy it.  Its our entertainment and we do not go out so its been nice.  Lately, I have been unable to sit down and watch any TV period, with all that has been going on.  Just a few days ago, I got to the nursery's to get garden plants, which, by the was was pretty poor pickings, but I did get some things. Again, this year is going to be a year of unpredictable things going on, so I am not planning much of anything.

Well, its about 3:30 am on Monday, and I had better get a little sleep.  I will try to post more as I have time this week.

Hugs to All

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

A new view in a new home

Good Morning Everyone,

Well....I am currently in my new home, in my sewing/office room, having a cup of tea, looking through the window toward the southwest, out across an open field with the birds and the air filled with song, and to me, even though its just a pasture, its a grand, soul healing sight. One of my cats is on top of my computer desk, watching and waiting for a bird to fly into the window which they are flying a little more erratic around here than at my old  home, because there is more airspace around here, but its wonderful.  The air is filled with birdsong, with many birds I do not get to see in town much, red-winged Blackbirds, and field birds like Meadow Larks, and small birds that I need to dig out my bird book to identify.  Its the bird song I love, and it is truly soul healing to me.

I have more to move from the old place, its small stuff, shelves,  clothing, and lamps, etc,  and then we'll go back and clean, paint, and lay the carpet down.  We can only do so much each day, as I get so tired, between running loads from place to place, check on my parents, have a break or two, and then a few more loads and then quit for the day.  It is getting a little easier, but it will be like this until the end of the month.

I will get some photos, and do more posting as I can.  I just got the computer and phone up Friday, and got everything set up so its working, hopefully. (I won't be too loud when I say that).
I will also have to change my blog's wording too.  Where I am at is not a slum, but paradise.
Have a wonderful week.

Hugs and Love

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Computer and Blogger issues

Good Evening Everyone,

I am not even going to apologise to everyone as I think everyone knows why I have been MIA for a while.  Between trying to move, and trying to take care of my parents, and take care of everyday life in general, and then throw in a glitch with blogger after I had my computer worked on after it crashed and my tech cleaned it out and finally figuring out what was wrong, it had something to do with the cookies with blogger and finally this morning, I figured it out.  I have been so tired and unable to think, that I just had to go to bed, rest and then early this morning, I got it figured out and I am back on board with Blogger.

My Dad got sick on us Monday night, and I had to place him  back in the hospital.  He has been not behaving, and not doing his nebulizer treatments, and has been difficult to try to feed and cook for. At first, he was great and was doing really good, but then, about a week or so ago, he started on being a stinker, which the doctor thinks it is from the stroke.   So, I had to make the decision to place him back into the care center, from the hospital,  where he may or may not try to get well and quit being a shit.  He was getting too hard for my mom to handle, and she is also hard to handle, so I did not need two shits making a big shit, so to speak, so between the doctor, the case manager at the hospital, they placed him, so I would not be on his radar and take his anger out on me.  We all agreed that he need more care and just placed the ball in his court and that was it.  I will see how he does, and just take it each and every day.  My mom is somewhat easier to handle now, since she does not have to put up with his child-like antics, she has her days, but she is easy to do meals for and is happy, as she still can do embroidered quilts, which she is working on and it keeps her busy.  I am amazed that with some of her mental capabilities, she can still sew her quilt tops, and the stitching is perfect, but with other things, she is a ding-bat, but I love her and my dad and I will just be thankful for each day I have,  perfect or not and another day to have the strength and  fight and be glad.

In all of this, I am slowly moving things.  The weather has been a mixed bag of snow, cold, rain, icy, and hot.  Over the weekend, we got the appliances moved, and a few things,  and then we stop and take breaks, as we are not young and cannot move like we used to.The weather doesn't help.  It has been so blasted cold and it is impossible to move things when you have several inches of snow on the ground.   The house is coming together, I am still in a daze as to the blessing of finding a nice home, and everything that we need.  I have no need for anything else in my life but my gardens, and a nice, comfortable home to be able to live in after taking care of my parents during the day.  This home is my respite, and my sanity and I will enjoy every bit of it, each and every day.

I will try to get back on track and do posts about my experiences with the health care system that I have been dealing with.  I will try to work on this in the next month or so.  Tomorrow, the computer will be down as I am moving it out to the new house and cable will be out there early tomorrow morning so I will start to get that set up.  I will hopefully be up and running soon.

I am starting to feel somewhat better.  I went to my massage therapist, and has a session with her, and she started me on several  herbal supplements  and a natural relaxer and I have found that it has helped me greatly.  I will post about this when I see that it is truly helping me and I will pass this on to all of you.  The stress that I have been under, I would not wish upon anyone, but when I put out my hand and asked for help, it has been there, from  many people, who has offered whatever they could, so I could keep my sanity.  I think that I have mentioned before, I have no friends here.  I have not met like-minded people that I could share things with, but when I started navigating the health care area, and being introduced to the people who work behind the scenes, helping people steer into the right directions when handling life changing decisions.  Through this, I have had some of my faith restored  in man, through these wonderful, people, who have been placed in my life to make decisions not by myself. I have been blessed many times, even though going through the stress was not pleasant and sometimes it has been too much, but it has been smoothing out and the road not so rocky.

I have to catch up on everyone's blogs.  I have not been able to do so, so I will try to do that and this will help me to relax and enjoy everyone and their going's on.
I just also want to again, thank all of you for your messages of hope, blessings, love, good karma, and prayers.  I know that you all care, and at night, I ask for blessings, prayers, karma and good thoughts for all of you.  This world is tough and is getting tougher, and we need more love and care in the world,  I feel so blessed to know all of you, from around the world, I am truly so thankful for all of you.  I love the sharing, caring that goes on here, and through all of you, I am getting my strength back to handle the next day. 

Well,  like FlowerLady says, "its time to get horizontal", and that is what I am going to do.  I generally read for a while and then I sleep better.  I have been sleeping almost a full 12 hours, and sometimes I catch a little half hour nap, and then I am off and running.  I am getting better as I do not need to sleep as much the last few days, I am sure its from the supplements and suggestions from my massage therapist.  She is a peach too.

Well,  I will try to get back online in a few days, hopefully without any glitches, and I wish everyone a wonderful upcoming weekend, and full of gardening, and just general enjoyment of life.

Hugs and Love to All

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Most Humble Apoligies

Good Morning Everyone,

I must first say that I am so very sorry for being so MIA for a while.  It has been so very stressful with my parents, and other life issues going on that I just have not even turned on the computer except for some banking issues.  This has been a learning experience and it has been something that I will not wish on anyone.
I will try to post toward the weekend. I said that I was going to post on my dad's illness and the experiences with the health care system, which I will tell you that its not good and will not get better.  It is Obamacare and its bad for everyone.  It is a joke, and a smoke and mirrors set up, so head's up with this.  Also, some GOOD news,  my dad is home, and is doing good for the shape he was in.  This will be a part of my post also, getting him home from the nursing home with the Obamacare crap that I had to go through.  My dad had a health set back, a bad bacterial infection from the nursing home that almost killed him, and the terrible care he received from two  care centers,  boy, care center, what an oxy-moron that is.
Dad has several health issues along with the stroke, but we will cross each one as we can and when he gets stronger, until then, its a daily deal. My mother is dealing with early onset dementia, and she is very difficult to deal with now.  She lives in her own little bubble complete with imaginary things, but I just roll my eyes and just play along, as if you confront her with her little world, she blows and is very hard to handle.  I have home health come in to check on my Dad, but they are not real happy about that either, but I have to until I can get Dad better and he is able to function better.  He really is doing so much better than he was, he has to re-learn some things, and learn to work his limbs better, but he thinks clear, somewhat, he does have issues with remembering the days, as he lost about two months, but he is getting up, and is trying to be able to make breakfast for himself so I can have a break.  I stop in during the morning to make sure he takes his med's, and I bring in lunch or dinner before evening, so I can have a peaceful evening and rest as I need this time to myself.

Also, on my end, D and I found a very nice home, and in all of this turmoil, we closed and have been moving things as we can, the weather here is crappy, snow, cold, ice and what ever else can come up, but we managed with all of the turmoil to do this also.  I did not want to say anything, as we were not sure that everything would go through and I did not want my hopes to get too high along with everything else.
I also am still dealing with the moron who owns the park, my attorney is handling that issue and is keeping the peace with this.  I do not have time to fight.

At this point in time, I am just numb with everything.  I should be so happy and elated with the home, but I'm not. I have had so much stress, and decisions, that I am just numb.I am being drug from my household duties and then I have to do my parents household duties also, so my time is pulled from all sides.   My Dad wants to see the house, but I am so very leery to show my Mom, as her mental state is not good, and she may go native on me, and hate me even more than she does now.  She has issues with me doing things in the house now, and moving things and interfering with her house.  I am now the "hated" daughter as I have been told will or would happen, and there is not much I can do about it. I will have to think about this with some thought.
I will post more on moving, at this moment, I am just moving household things, dishes, and small stuff, and I am going through everything and tossing what I do not want, and making a pile for donations to the thrift shops.  Before we actually closed, we brought in a dumpster and threw away a ton and a half of crap and stuff that was not needed.  Most of this was outside stuff that I just did not need and to be honest, I am just not sure where it came from.  But it  is gone now, and it is a relief.
This home is very close to the city limits, but I am still in the community, and in a very nice, quiet neighborhood.  I have a garden area, a raised bed about 14 x 14.  It is a start.  I have a nice yard, and room for some dwarf fruit trees eventually.  The yard is nice and the back yard has a patio area, and much potential, and is along a large 20 acre pasture, so at the moment, I do not have anyone in the back except this pasture.  Eventually, homes will be built, but until then, its nice, and has birds, and most important, quiet.

So, I just wanted to jump in and let you all know that I am still here, some days, I do not want to wake up, or be here.  Some days, I do not want to face the unknown temperament of my parents, or their demands.  I am not sure of the future, if I will even have a life, or be able to enjoy my home at all.  Everything is just in the air at the moment, and very unknown.
I also want to thank Flowerlady for emailing me and checking on me.  I love you my friend, and concerns, I am hanging in there, and I will try to get off an email to you later this weekend.  This is what angers me, as I cannot get to my life and do what I want to do now, I have no  time for me, so I will just try to touch base with everyone through this blog and emails until things hopefully calm down.

Until later, I wish everyone a wonderful up coming weekend, get lots done, enjoy the weather, if you have nice weather, and just enjoy your life, as you never know what the day will bring.

Love and Hugs to All

Saturday, March 16, 2013

The Wheel keeps revolving.....

Good Morning Everyone,

I had a few moments to post to let everyone know I am still wheeling around and very stressed.  My dad had a very serious set-back Thursday morning when I went in mid-morning to check on him.  He was very feverish, very sluggish, and not with it.  He told me he did not feel good at all.  So, I, aka "Hellcat" as my dad calls me when I become the explosive temperament I carry, went in and demanded that an appointment be made with my parents doctor to be seen.  I had to fight, but I won, and at 4 pm, dad and I were in at the doctor's office and then his doctor seen him and immediately had him shipped to our hospital ER and then the very close call we had started....

He was having problems breathing.  Now, dad is an old smoker, but quit many years ago, but he was for many years, a fireman on our local fire department, and battled blazes when there was no equipment like the firefighters have now.  He also was a Navy aircraft crash crew member and cleaned up and fought aircraft crash fires, also the same way, with very little equipment and his lungs are seered from the high heat. By the time I got him admitted into ER, the RN's were all over him, and got him fluids, and a CPAP to  help his breathing, by 8:30 pm, he was in distress with his breathing, and there for a while, I was sure that I was going to lose him.  The ER doctors told me if the care center waited until Friday morning to get him to the doctor, I would not have him here. They gave me hugs and patted me on the back to be his champion to get him here when he needed help.   He had a very quick moving pneumonia, from flu going around the care center, and it hit him very badly as he has compromised lungs. The team in ER was able to stabilize him, and he was moved into ICU where he is now.  I went yesterday and last night and he looked so much better, and was doing better and breathing better. He is so compromised because of the stroke and he also is not doing well at the care center where he is now, he hates the food there as it is bad, (I have eaten with dad there and I agree), he is not eating well and he hates the PT woman that they have there, as she is a bitch with a very abrasive temperment for being a PT at a care center.  I am now having issues with this care facility and am looking to see if I can move him to another.  I am not sure if I can, but I will be on top of things when he is released back, and I will be the hell cat that I am to see that he gets care and rehab.

So I have been running, and in the mean time, checking on my mom, and running errands, and just being stressed more.  I do not see this stopping for a long time at the moment.
D helps as he can, he was going to look into taking a part time job driving, but now, it looks like I need him home here more.  We will just have to play it by ear for now.

As I have mentioned I will try to compose a post about the experiences I have had.  I am also going to compose a post about the care center issue which I think everyone needs to be aware of also.  At the moment, I am too tired, stressed and will not be able to post correctly without emotion, and I want to inject a fair and non judgmental post.  I do want people to be aware of things and what needs to be checked and done for the sake of loved ones in someone else's care and what the rules and issues are.  So I will do this when I can take on this post with fairness, and insight to be fair to all.

I will now get ready to go and get some things done before I head back to ICU for my dad, and I will post later when I can, and keep all posted.

Thank you for all of your support, love, blessings, thoughts and karma, as it means the world to me and my family.  Thank you.


Thursday, March 7, 2013

Back from Sabbatical and Exhausted

Good Morning Everyone,

I thought I'd better pop in and let everyone know I am still breathing, though I am absolutely exhausted and run down.  I have been sleeping on average over 10-12 hours with it averaging 12 hours usually.  I have only done this if I was very sick or when I had my surgeries.  I am personally shocked.  And when I get up, I am tired, and feel I am in a dazed and confused state.  What a way to be in.
I just want to thank all of you for your concerns, blessings, get wells and just being there for us.  Just knowing all of the love, thoughts are surrounding us means the world to me.  Thank you so much!

My dad is doing much better, but he will have issues with motor skills on the left side.  I am so very thankful that he has his mental capacity, though he cannot remember streets or areas.  He can feed himself, and has most of his mental abilities, though names of people sometimes throw him. He is in a care center, which he does not like, but he knows that he has to be there to get well and to get home, which is my goal.  At home, I will be able to handle and care for him and my mom, with some help from Home Health nurses.  It will be a slow process, and he has his goals to get home, that is all he has on his mind.

About two weeks ago, Dad had another   very tiny stroke, and this set him back somewhat.  Before, he was up and motoring around good, but this last little stroke, did set him back from the goals.  He is coming out of this last episode well, though it has made some motor skill changes to him.  He is still looking good, and getting around good.  I am thankful and blessed.
My mom is ok, but mentally is not doing good with Dad being gone.  After Dad had his first  stroke, I had two weeks of her panicking as to where he was.  She is doing somewhat better now, though its been over a month now.  I have done nothing but run to Kearney hospital and back, and then the hospital here and back and the  care center for Dad and then their home, and then my home.  I now can see why I am tired.....

While all of this was going on, we managed to get to Council Bluffs Iowa to finish D's work comp hearing and settlement.  This was a long drawn out process of eight full hours of the mediator running from one sealed room to another making settlement bids. We were sealed in a room, it was relaxed but you couldn't run around the office, you could take potty breaks, and lunch and coffee was provided for and we were treated very well by D's attorney and staff.  The good news: D  won his case, was was presented with a monetary amount.  It is  not much when everyone gets their fingers out of the pie, but it will help with his lifetime medical and it left us with enough to get into a home. We will be careful with it and being frugal.
Right up to the end, the employer denied that they did anything wrong, and felt that they were railroaded.  But the Iowa work comp commissioner felt otherwise, awarding D his settlement.  I am so glad it is over.  We are now in the process of waiting for papers to be signed and FedEx'ed back and forth.  D signed everything first, and overnight ed everything back to his attorney, then papers were sent to the other side's attorney, but  D's attorney had to call her and threaten her again as she was not signing papers quickly and getting everything sent to the commissioner's office for sign off on his part.  They are still dragging it out, but D called yesterday and was told that the papers were signed and sent, and then the check from the other side will be sent to D's attorney and they will put it in the trust account, and then issued  his monetary amount and it will be done. What a ride this has been, and hopefully the end of another very stressful situation, four years is too much to endure
I have nothing else to talk about, except just a lot of stress.  I will however here soon, do a blog on my experience with my dad in the hospital and what I think all of you, especially here in the US should be on the lookout for and be aware of.  It pertains with the Obamacare, and you will not like what you will run into.  This will be a separate blog post and I will do my best to fill in what happened.  I am not sure if all states will run this way or do what I had experienced in the hospital, especially here in my community. But I feel it needs to be brought to your attention and just be aware of what may be asked of you or your family in a crisis situation.
I will try to do this post sometime over the weekend, or work on it over a week as it will be pretty lengthy.

Other than that, nothing is going on.  I do not think that I will be able to do much gardening, except maybe some things in my pots.  I am just not going to have time. I am trying to make time just for me, and that is hard as my parents are clingy now and I am now the parent, making decisions, I know that it must be done, but I do not like the position that I am in and sometimes being the bad guy now.  I am so very thankful that  the care center where my dad is at is a loving, supporting place for both residents and family.  Last Friday, I had a one hour council session with the director in which I was enveloped with a lot of love, support and was encouraged to talk, cry, piss and moan, which at first I did not do, but then about fifteen minutes into the session, the tears flowed, and I voiced my fears, and goals, and then I felt so much better and was able to look at everything in a better light.  I have never been to a council session before. I am not one to talk to others about what is going on, but here, I needed to.  And yes, I did feel better. 

Well, I need to get going,  I am trying to place catch-up with my housework, and other home care I need to do, and then later this week, I have to go to my parents home, and do housework there also.  Then off to the care center to see my dad, which I do at least twice a day.  The director did slow me down and intervened with my dad, very gently that I was doing too much running and that no one wanted me to get sick and be down on the count too, so I have been going to the center in the evenings after supper.  I started my mom on meals on wheels for lunch and this helps me a lot for meal prep.  So things are somewhat slowing down some.  We are supposed to have some stormy weather moving in on the weekend and I need to get everything ready for that too. 
High-Ho, High-Ho, its off to work I go!!!!!!

I wish everyone a wonderful upcoming weekend, and I will try to blog later.
Thank you again, everyone for your support.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Hamster in a Wheel

Good Morning Everyone,

Well, I sit here this morning, having a very welcome cup of coffee, though I have had to really cut back the consumption of coffee as I have had a lot since last Wednesday and Thursday and back home. I was starting to get the jitters, and the caffeine was affecting my heart rate. I am not really to have too much coffee, as I do not have a thyroid anyway, and my heart rate gets a little jumpy anyway.

Well, first, my dad is doing pretty well, considering he did have a stroke and an embolism.  They did a large amount of tests, and could not pinpoint the embolism.  His left arm, and side and leg are affected and I am very upset that I do have to put him in a care facility here for rehab and occupational therapy.  Our hope is he will progress and then I can get him home and have home health come in and give me a hand with both of my parents.  My mother is ok but is very confused and emotional at times.  She is doing about as best as I can do at this moment. 

Me, I am trying to keep my strength up.  I am absolutely exhausted.  When my head hits the pillow at night, my brain, body and emotions are at their point of no return.  But if I can sleep well, I am able to hit the day running.

Wednesday, D and I went to the Kearney hospital and seen my dad, then we went on to Council Bluffs Iowa, where D had his work comp mediation hearing on Thursday morning.  That was also a very stressful, and somewhat emotional event also.  It took from 9am to 2pm to settle this case.  D won his case, if you could call it that,  and it is settled.  My downside is he is disabled, and the company will not cover his medical that he needs.  We could not go any further with this company. D was  awarded a  monetary amount, which we will invest, and I am looking into medical accounts for medical treatments. But this monetary amount is small, and  will never bring back D's health status like he was before. I feel blessed that he got what he did and we will work with what has been awarded, but again, D will never be the same.   They denied that they even did anything out of the ordinary, even with four doctors on D's side confirming his disability.  They did not see anything wrong with not having work comp or even worry about their workers.  So my word to the wise is:  If you work for someone, please carry your own work comp insurance or a disability policy as you are not protected at any job anymore.  I know because we have been through this and if you have someone in the family who works, they are NOT protected by company work comp.  I do not care what they tell you.  DO NOT believe any company anymore or anyone telling you that you will be ok, as you won't. Enough said about this. The attorney D had on this case was phenomenal, and was one of the best attorneys I have seen work for his client. This was the third attorney we had on this case from the beginning four years ago. We are all glad its over and we can now get back to living a somewhat normal life.

I just wanted to stop to check blogs from everyone, and then I am off this morning to pick my dad up from the hospital in Kearney and bring him home to the care facility for his rehab.  It is about 100 miles one way, and I have a stiff wind blowing from the northwest.  We have a storm brewing from the west or southwest for Thursday, so I need to get him home safe, and then I am hoping I can stop and rest a little and maybe do some quilting. ( I am trying Morning Minion).  I am going to stop this morning in Kearney at a quilt shop to pick up a few tools that I need that I cannot find here in my town.  I am going to peek at a little fabric also.  Not much as I cannot afford much but I have a quilt in mind, Morning Minion sent me a pattern and that is my base to start this quilt.  I am hoping this will save my sanity while I have all of this going on in my life.

So other than this going on.  I have been  holding fast.  I want to stop and thank all of you for your blessings, prayers, thoughts, and kindness.  It is through all of you that I find strength and hope.  I hope that all of you realize how much I love and value all of your readership and contact.  This is what will get me through this very tough time in my life.

I will try to blog more at the end of the week or weekend.  I will see how everything goes.
Until then, love and hugs to all.